My parents vs. His parents

[LavenderSession]

Okay. My boy told his parents last week or the week before and his parents are sooooooo excited. His mom even sent us a card with money in it! lol And she told him she wants us to have 2 kids....but I'm like "no." hehe I love his parents!

I haven't told my parents yet. Because I know they won't be happy and it'll really really upset me. And I am trying to tell myself that I don't care because I am going to have my own family....but I still feel like it will upset me so much. I can understand my dad being disappointed cause I haven't finished college and I am not married and this was not what he wanted for his baby girl. I know all this. But I'm scared he'll disown my kid or something and as I want my child to have a relationship with my nephew, I am scared my child will grow up having a grandfather who "loves my cousin, but hates me." :(

I know I am probably being irrational about this, so any advice on how to handle these fears and how to tell my parents would be very helpful. And when should I tell them?

[grumpydawn]

Can I ask a couple of questions first?

How long have you been involved with your boyfriend?

Do either of you hold a job?


Have you thought about marriage?


Ok- that was more than a couple. But, seriously- do you plan on being together and raising this child? It does make things a lot easier.


And don't wait- things will be popping before you know it.

[Ryoko!]

I have a very strained relationship with all of my family...i guess you could say that I'm the loner and the outsider of the family (family politics tire me... and both of my parents really are crazy...and i do NOT want either one of the ANYWHERE near my children!).
Needless to say I waited until about the fourth month to tell them, in which my mom said she <i> knew </i> i was having a girl. I secretly hoped it was a boy just to spite her...childish I know but i pick and choose my battles ;). Scince she found out I was having a boy she isn't interested at all (THANK GOD!). Yes, she's really that mean and crazy.

Let me tell you something about babies though... no one cares how they get here, wether or not your'e married, chances are your parents will be too happy to spoil your little baby rotten they will temporarily forget that you aren't married. It happened to my friend, her boyfriend and her haven't even been together for a year, and she comes from a family that didn't allow their children to even watch the simpsons. If they do bring it up, stand your ground, as upset as they might be, they'll get over it. If you think they'll be upset to hear the news...they'll be even more upset if they are the last to know.

I'd also like to know wether or not you plan on getting married...I know my friends don't, they want to wait until their child is old enough to be the ring bearer lol. Which is a cute idea if you think about it! It buys them both time to really decide if they want to spend the rest of their lives together, and it's good enough for their parents too.

If anything...if your parents give you a horribly negative reaction, call your S.O's mom again! Obviously she's very open to the idea of your baby! Surround yourself with lots of positivity and it will outweigh the negative.

[LavenderSession]

Ok, grumpydawn, I will answer your questions. :)

My boyfriend and I have been together almost a year now (August 28). We both have jobs....he's a computer programmer and well, I just work part time. We have thought about marriage. Marriage was on our minds before we found out we're having a baby....but we're not getting married anytime soon. And yes, we plan on being together to raise this child.

Ryoko! I understand that if they are the last to know they will be upset.....but they should make things a bit easier! lol Okay. But we do talk about marriage and we know we want to when we're ready. But we're not gonna push it just because of the baby. We live together and we love each other very much and we both already love this child and we've never met him (ok, or her)!

My parents are in Alabama and I am in Arizona...so until we move east (if we ever do) they won't get to see the baby much. And brent's parents live in Montana...so we're on our own!

[grumpydawn]

It sounds like you 2 will do just fine. One thing @ a time.

Good Luck!