View Full Version : Aren't kids fun when they scream at the top of their lungs????
That's my kid's new thing. And he's almost 9.
I am NOT amused.
The slapping across the face shall commence.
soMnUS
10-09-2002, 11:52 PM
It sounds like you're child doesn't get disciplined very often. If they're 9 and screaming it probably really started when they were alot younger. Send them to their room when they don't listen. Give them a timeout. Give them a whack on their butt with your hand. Tell them no TV for a few days when they don't listen. Do something now or you'll have a brat for the rest of your life who will end up hating you because you didn't teach them to function properly or respectfully with authority. <p> I have a 4 year old who already knows better than to scream and he's perfectly normal and loving. He KNOWS where the line is and not to cross it because he'll get punished. Punishment has to sting one way or another or it doesn't work. Just don't yell and definitely no face slapping.
mechanicalbride
10-10-2002, 12:12 AM
Originally posted by Vik
The slapping across the face shall commence.
:s
CyberVixen
10-10-2002, 02:54 AM
Originally posted by Vik
That's my kid's new thing. And he's almost 9.
I am NOT amused.
The slapping across the face shall commence.
careful.. that's child abuse :-x
Ryoko!
10-10-2002, 10:53 AM
LOL! i don't think I could imagine you killing a fly Vik.
*tries*
nope can't do it.
Anyways, if he screams, walk away from him, DON'T REACT AT ALL. he'll get sick of screaming when he figures out no one will listen to him that way. Of course that's going to take a lot from you, I suggest you stock up on some advil! It defently sounds like a communication issue, especially scince he's 9 years old...this is something I would expect a 3-4 year old to try for attention. I suggest that you walk away from the screaming telling him to come and TALK to you when he's ready to. He's old enough to understand the concept. That's just my 2 cents.
nicANDjethro
10-10-2002, 11:32 AM
AAACK!
i can't handle parents letting their kids scream out in public!
seriously, if *I* would've pulled that on my mom, i would've been in BIG time trouble!
although i don't think excessive hitting is the answer, a swack on the bottom for younger kids (older ones just laugh) is a good idea...just to hurt feelings, not their bottoms.
however, you need to find what's most important to him right now...video games? sports? whatever...
when he screams at you, take that away from him. explain WHY. explain that he has to *talk* to you, not scream.
you can try spanking a 9 year old, but i don't think it'll really work.
i think, at that age, it's the material things that get them going...
and, when you punish him, STICK TO IT.
if not, he'll know that he can scream AND have his goodies.
but, i don't think i could let him scream...maybe a baby, but not a 9 year old boy.
nic
Originally posted by Ryoko!
LOL! Anyways, if he screams, walk away from him, DON'T REACT AT ALL. he'll get sick of screaming when he figures out no one will listen to him that way.
I agree with this too. It works well with my 5 year old. Sometimes I have to lock myself in the bathroom to keep my self from continuing the battle.
This is a positive parenting tactic. I TRY to use these kinds of approaches when I am mentally up to it. Some days it takes everything I have to not run screaming from the house!:D
good luck. i know it is hard as hell sometimes.
bear
chloe dancer
10-10-2002, 04:39 PM
to the person who said their 4 year old knows better ---;l you wait!
kids CONSTANTLY try and "retest" their boundaries. especially around 9/10 years and especially in the early teens.
good luck vik!
*puts in ear plugs*
Originally posted by FastestSlug
*puts in ear plugs* Hey, can I borrow those? ;)
And sorry guys, but a slap on the cheek is NOT child abuse. :r
soMnUS
10-10-2002, 05:40 PM
He tests me all the time even now but I don't ever change my approach or his punishment. Yes, when he gets older and has a better ability to talk back he probably will but I still will be disciplining him. I don't punish one day and not the next. If he does something wrong there's a penalty and he is a very well behaved boy at home and in public.<p>To avoid tantrums at the store I tell him the rules before we go in. No asking for stuff, no touching, no running and stay close to me. He does that. If it's a meal time I tell him 'this is what we're having to eat' and that's that. He'll eat. I always explain why he's being punished and even ask him what he did wrong and he knows exactly what he did. If you lay the groundwork when they're still toddlers and you stick to it, you will have way fewer problems as they get bigger than those who didn't train when they had a chance.
He doesn't actually do this stuff in public. He's old enough that he'd be too embarrassed to do it in public. This "I want my way and you won't give it to and I'm so upset!!!" behavior is reserved solely for me at home....
mechanicalbride
10-11-2002, 12:28 AM
Originally posted by Vik
And sorry guys, but a slap on the cheek is NOT child abuse. :r
it solves <i>nothing</i>. i wouldn't consider a moderate spank child abuse, but a slap across the face crosses the line. i remember my dad slapping me across the face when i was around 6 or 7 and it hurt me enough emotionally to remember it to date. it's personal and humiliating for the recieving end.
I hate screaming....my 13 yo and her friends have this thing where they just shreik at the tops of their lungs when they see ppl....it is so annoying...
grumpydawn
10-13-2002, 01:22 PM
I have to tell you Vik- as much as the temptation to hit my son is there when he acts that way, I found it was more effective to ask him if he really thought yelling was going to get him anywhere.
ie:" Do mommy and daddy scream when we can't have our way? NO. So, get used to the fact that you can't have everything you want."
As soon as it starts- off to be alone and calm down and priveleges are revoked. No TV, computer, or video games. Then distract with another activity once calm.
My 4 yr old actually tells me he WANTS a spanking or a time out. And that he wants to be bad. Go figure.
I'm trying Flax seed oil with Lignan to see if behavioral problems subside. The joys of ADHD:r
Originally posted by grumpydawn
I found it was more effective to ask him if he really thought yelling was going to get him anywhere.
ie:" Do mommy and daddy scream when we can't have our way? NO. So, get used to the fact that you can't have everything you want."My son's logic isn't that adult yet. (As learned in psych, kids don't think the way adults do.)
The slap gets his attn and gets it to stop (at the moment). It seems to be getting a less and less occurance too. Thank God!!!
And yeah, we have the whole ADD thing goin on too.... :a
Originally posted by mechanicalbride
i wouldn't consider a moderate spank child abuse, but a slap across the face crosses the line.Why? Because of <i>location</i>?? Give me a break. :r
The face slap hurts him way less than a spanking. People (myself included) tend to hit butts harder than faces.
I can't speak for other states but in OK, the use of corporal punishment forbids contact with the head and torso regions b/c a parent out of control could do severe damage with a hit too hard in these areas. Our state law even goes as far to say a belt, hand, switch or paddle are to be used.<br>Technically anyone who works with children is required to report anyone they see slapping a child here since it fails into the category of child abuse. Failure to do so could result in felony charges.
Originally posted by jan
Our state law even goes as far to say a belt, hand, switch or paddle are to be usedRather than using... what? :t
mechanicalbride
10-13-2002, 07:54 PM
Originally posted by Vik
Why? Because of <i>location</i>?? Give me a break. :r
its not entirely physical. slapping a kid across the face feels <i>personal</i> to the kid, its humiliating and it hurts feelings. as a kid who got spanked and slapped when i acted up, i can tell you, a spanking told me to knock it off but a slap felt like an attack.
Originally posted by mechanicalbride
its not entirely physical. slapping a kid across the face feels <i>personal</i> to the kidGood. Cuz it feels personal when he screams cuz he wants to be the one in charge too.
Originally posted by Vik
Rather than using... what? :t <br>Baseball bats...whatever is handy....My mom had 5 kids and she always spanked us with whatever was handy..flyswatters, hot wheel tracks, flipflops...a friend of mine claims his mom used to use the hose on those old timey douche bags<br>I am taking a beh mod class and the "experts" say the best thing to do is removing them from their audience which is said than done.
Originally posted by jan
<br>Baseball bats...whatever is handy.... Ahhh.... See, I wasn't even THINKING in that vein.... Yeah, my mom tells a horror story of her mom spanking her w/a hairbrush. It was the closest thing she could reach I guess.... :a
delilah
10-14-2002, 01:58 AM
Originally posted by Vik
Why? Because of <i>location</i>?? Give me a break. :r
Um actually it does.
grumpydawn
10-16-2002, 11:28 AM
But our children tend to mimic what they know. Don't be surprised if you get a note saying your son is slapping other kids in the face.
We are working with a positive reinforcement method. It does seem to work better than constantly nagging.
Cassiopei
10-16-2002, 01:30 PM
Well my 3 year old used to scream and throw tantrums. We used to swat her on the butt which is effective with most things but with tantrums, I found out if we sat around and rooted for her, encouraged her she would quit. I guess we weren't reacting the way she wanted us to. So she quit. But she is young. I know she will try again when she is older and we will have to use different methods of discipline.
Spacegrrrl
10-19-2002, 01:49 PM
Originally posted by Vik
Why? Because of <i>location</i>?? Give me a break. :r
The face slap hurts him way less than a spanking. People (myself included) tend to hit butts harder than faces.
You're kidding, right?
How do you know what someone else's pain threshold is?
Not to mention that the FACE has a whole hell of a lot less padding than the butt does.
I realize you're frustrated with the screaming...but slapping a child on the face is abuse no matter how you try to rationalize it.
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