funny things kids say...

[bear]

i think we may have done this before but...

so my dad was watching my kids last night. when my husband got him my dad told him that my son had paid my husband a big complement. this is what he said:

"my daddy has a BIG penis. i have a small penis"

;l

that's my boy!

[Clementine]

;l

[supernova]

My boy is only up to about 40 words, so he doesn't say anything clever yet. Although I always get a kick out of it when he points to his diaper and yells "poop!".

[ej]

so my dad was watching my kids last night. when my husband got him my dad told him that my son had paid my husband a big complement. this is what he said:

"my daddy has a BIG penis. i have a small penis"Not long before my wife and I got married, I took my son to his swimming lesson at the Y. So after we swam we showered, and imagine my consternation when he came out and announced in a piercing voice to her that "he has a big, fat, brown penis." Nice. ;u

[little blue pea]

When my Brandon was just getting into going on the potty, I took him in to pee. While looking down, Bran starts giggling. I ask him "what's so funny?" Still looking down and smiling, he shakes his head and says "My penis. It's like a volcano!" I thought that was such a laugh riot. :)

[FaerieDreamer]

heheheh these stories make me long for potty training. *laugh*



well that, and I'm sick of changing diapers already. :)

[bear]

;l

kids rock! even when they embarrass the hell out of you!

[Sheri]

When my step-daughter was almost 3 she saw my husband's penis (her father) for the first time....he was in the shower and she ran in the bathroom and ripped open the curtain, pointed at it and screamed "DADDY HAS A POOOOPIE" with a look of HORROR on her face! She thought it looked like a poo, I guess!

[Clementine]

This morning, Ethan put his hand down my shirt (as he does a lot of the time. It's a breastfed baby thing) and said, "Nice! Nice Booboos, Mama!"
I said all I really could say....... "Thanks!"

;l

[bear]

;l that is fantastic!!! they start young!

the first time i brought my son into work he was 6 months old. he literally looked one of my girlfriends over from head to toe. the typical "haven't learned how to hide my checking you out thing" and when he got back to her face he grinned as big as could be. she still laughs about it. ;l

[Clementine]

flirts!!!
;l

ethan has a thing fo blonde women. it's the weirdest thing.

[vegaenglit]

lucien obviously doesnt say anything at this point but if you cradle hold him, he will try to find a boob - it doesnt matter who, mama, daddy, gramma, female coworker, my male bosses.

[Clementine]

lucien obviously doesnt say anything at this point but if you cradle hold him, he will try to find a boob - it doesnt matter who, mama, daddy, gramma, female coworker, my male bosses.

awwww!
i miss those days. :(
ethan got hold of neil's nipple once, and gave him a hickey. it was, of course, adorable.

[vegaenglit]

jeremy takes baths with him sometimes and lucien'll just turn his head and starting gumming at his fuzzy chest.

[Clementine]

so sweet!

[bear]

;l lovely...

my little man is still a boob man too. he thinks it is entirely appropriate to rest his hand down my shirt even tho it has been a good 18 months since he has nursed.

[Clementine]

;l lovely...

my little man is still a boob man too. he thinks it is entirely appropriate to rest his hand down my shirt even tho it has been a good 18 months since he has nursed.

i remember posting about this a while back and you replied and made me so happy!
ethan is still doing it, and it's been ten months since he weaned!
i guess i have a while to go yet! ;l

[moonruby]

everyone in my family still talks about the time i visited my aunt in college. i was about two years old and i walked around the hallways saying "men, men!" i guess i was a big flirt!

[bigNerd]

My 5-year-old told me she's gonna have two babies, (they're in "eggs" in her tummy right now), and they're one girl and one boy. I asked her what their names are going to be and she goes "Annie and Daddy Warbucks." You can tell what we watch 50 times a day :)

[bear]

My 5-year-old told me she's gonna have two babies, (they're in "eggs" in her tummy right now), and they're one girl and one boy. I asked her what their names are going to be and she goes "Annie and Daddy Warbucks." You can tell what we watch 50 times a day :)

;l cute.

so we were at the fancy restaurant tonight with my MIL. My son and I come back from the bathroom. My daughter says "what took you so long?". He says as loud and proud as ever "I was pooping sissy!". lovely. truly. ;l

[Sheri]

I had to add another one from this week:

while washing my step daughter in the bath - she was out the names of her *parts*, she said "my arm-pits, my butt crack, my stinky marshmallow"!!!!!

I guess she calls her crotch her "stinky marshmallow" LOL!!!

[psyck]

"stinky marshmallow" LOL thats awesome!

[bear]

the latest from my almost 8 yo daughter...

"mommy, donnie said britney spears bought her boobs". of course i proceeded with an honest discussion about boob buying and being happy in your own skin and that it wasn't really appropriate for her to be having conversations like that with her friends but that she can always talk to me about anything.

then she says, "mommy, you didn't buy your boobs". ;l no honey!! if i did they'd look a hell of a lot better after breastfeeding two kids! no, i didn't say that to her. ;)

[FaerieDreamer]

My son is right smack in the mimic stage (gotta watch what we say!) and this morning he was just being so silly. I was still in the bedroom, reveling in my Saturday morning sleep in, but I was listening to my son and husband in the living room. My husband sneezed, and then all of a sudden I hear my son "Ahhh choo! Ahhh choo! Ahhh choo!" for the rest of the morning! :)

[Cheri]

I had to add another one from this week:

while washing my step daughter in the bath - she was out the names of her *parts*, she said "my arm-pits, my butt crack, my stinky marshmallow"!!!!!

I guess she calls her crotch her "stinky marshmallow" LOL!!!
I had already dotted you for an earlier post here. LOL too cute.

[Cheri]

When Corey was little, he would mix up his words. Our Dr. was Woctor Datson. Dr. Watson.

Hostibill (hospital)
Bumbubumps (big Mosquito hawks)

[garoux]

Just a few days after I found out that I'm pregnant, I made plans to go to lunch with a friend and her three year-old daughter. When they came to pick me, my friend's daughter turned to her and said, "Sarah has two puppies and a baby?" There's no way she could have known that I'm pregnant.

[bear]

Woctor Datson! ;l

[Cheri]

He is 16 now. Once Dr. Watson was taking stitches out of my oldest back and Corey was on the floor (about 19 months or so) and he kicked Dr. Watson in the leg cuz Joel was screaming. Dr. Watson was stunned. LOL

[courey]

Garion says, "Die Die" for Bye Bye... lol... weird lil' kiddo :p He's finally gotten to the point where he is constantly thanking me, which is just adorable. Give him some juice... "Ankoo Ma" :e

[Dita]

I never kept the fact that Carson had a penis and that I (or girls) have vaginas. So one day he was telling his grandma that he has a penis, but that I don't, I have a "jean." :)

Also, another parent from Carson's school and I had to have a little intervention with her daughter and him. They were getting way too serious about talking marriage and having kids and things for their age and the other mom didn't think it was appropriate (I thought it was cute at first, but it did get a little obsessive for 5 year olds). When finishing the talk with both kids, I wrapped up the discussion with, "so what aren't we going to talk about anymore?"

Carson exclaimes, "SEX!" really loudly.

I turn beet red (and the other mom looked terribly annoyed that my son said the S word in front of her daughter) and asked how he knew that word, to which he replied, "from the show you watch mom, Sex and the City!"

Needless to say, that was the end of our conference.

[sadiemae]

I was in a very nice Chinese restaurant with my 3 year old son. My MIL was asking what kind of meat was in a dish, my son sniffed his fork said very loudly..."It's prolly cat!" The look on that waitress face![shock]

[courey]

lmfao

[bigNerd]

My five-year-old daughter, Megan, was looking through the Newsweek that just came in the mail and she goes, "Momma! There's a picture of the dead-Pope in this magazine!" but she says dead Pope like it's one word, deadpope. She's so morbid.

[bear]

;l!

[courey]

Getting my daughter out of the bath she looks down at her shriveled up little fingers and says, "Wook, my fingers are scared!"

wtf?
lmao

[Clementine]

Getting my daughter out of the bath she looks down at her shriveled up little fingers and says, "Wook, my fingers are scared!"

wtf?
lmao

;l!!
That's so CUTE!
It's better than the reaction Ethan had to noticing his prune fingers for the first time.
He CRIED. Close to hysterics because he thought they'd never be the same again.
He checked on them periodically just to make sure they were going back to normal.
Then he noticed his toes were the same.
"Oh NO!! My TOOOOOOOOES! My TOOOOOES!!!!"

Gah!

[courey]

Oh man, they're so funny sometimes :e

[bear]

;l! too funny!

[FaerieDreamer]

Saturday, Xavier and my husband were playing cars or something. My husband farted pretty loudly, and Xavier looked at him with this shocked expression on his face and gasped "Daddy Poopoo!!" *laugh*

[ej]

My daughter was talking to her grandparents on the phone last week on her birthday, and when asked how old she was (you KNOW what's coming!), she held up her fingers and said, "This many!"

[bear]

So I'm in the bathroom with my 4 year old. Trying to brush his teeth. He is on the floor rattling off a story to me. I'm multi-tasking, you know, picking up a bit, wiping the counter down, bending over to put something under the sink.

I stand up and start to reach around to pull the shorts which seem to have found their way up my butt at some point during my multi-tasking efforts out and mid-sentence he reaches up, grabs my shorts, tugs them out of my buttcrack and continues on with his saga. ;l!

Me: What did you just do?
Him: I was pulling your shorts (giggles start) our of your BUM!

;l!
*dies*
my boy my boy!

[dormilona]

i have a friend who wears thong underwear and as she was getting dressed the other day her daughter said, "mommy, you've still got a wedgie." poor mom tried to keep a straight face while saying, "yes, sweetie, i guess i do." *dies*

[Christine]

My mom and my 5 year old couin were talking. They were joking around, and my mom said "shiver me timbers," in a pirate voice. Nicki's reponse was, "Well, let's see 'em!"

[Clementine]

Just now at breakfast: Ethan's eating happily and I'm unloading the dishwasher. I guess I was making a lot of clanging noises with the pots and pans, so Ethan says to me, "Mommy, may I please get a peace and quiet?" *giggle* Wonder where he heard that?

[courey]

I've recently started giving the kids a vitamin with their breakfast, and Kai and Garion don't quite have "vita" part down yet. So every morning they ask for "men" with their breakfast. ;l

[JulieS911]

Funny thing i heard today:-

To 2 year old little girl
'what are you going to do when you are older?'

Little girl
'a poo!!'

Made me laugh anyway
[post18]

[Autumn]

"But then I thought about it, and decided that I'm not ready for that yet! I'm only seven! So I gave the ring to my teacher and told him what happened and that I'm not ready to be married."
My daughter, telling me a story about a boy who gave her a "marriage ring" at school!

[~Knitaholic~]

My 3 yr old got upset yesterday when he thought his daddy didnt wave hi back.
So I told him we'll yell at him for not waving.He told me no cause he'll get mad.So I told him Ill yell at him.And he said "no you'll scare him"

[carismicsue]

my 7 year old
said something which made me smile one day,
always get her a bottle of water on way to school,
on way back home after school she was complaining
how her water tasted all watery

[Mike_P]

Haha, these posts are all so hysterical.

I baby-sit for my neighbors' kids and one day I was taking care of their 4 year old son. I think we must have been watching cartoons and the word "ego" came up. So their son turned to me and said: What's an ego? Is it this?

And he pointed to his crotch...

[LavenderSession]

[post18]

These are cracking me up!!

A few weeks ago, I told Morgan she needed to clean her room up. She looks at me and says "Whatever dude mommy!" I died!

Here's another one: We were doing some last minute shopping to go camping and MOrgan kept whining "I wanna go camping. Wanna go fishin." And her dad says "Me too. But you know what else I want? A little peace and quiet!"

So she says, extremely seriously, "Then we go to the library daddy." [post18]

[angeles]

My son was telling me about the good ol' days. We were in my parent's basement and I found a pair of pj pants from when he was a baby. I picked them up and told him that he used to fit in to those when he was just a little baby. He sat down beside me, put his head on my shoulder and became teary eyed and said "Yeah, Mommy, those were the good ol' days." I busted out laughing. That kid will make a good actor!

xo, angeles

[DarkLuna]

All your stories are hilarious. ;l

I don't have kids, and none of my friends have popped one out yet, so my experiences with children are very limited. But I do have one story!

When my best friend graduated from college a couple years ago, she threw a party at her parents' house. Our elementary school is right up the street from where we grew up (we were next door neighbors), so we decided to go up, with all her friends in tow, and be all nostalgic and play on the playground.

So, while we were doing that, a horde of, like... 6 and 7 year olds came riding up on their bikes and stared at us from across the playground while we were on the swings. They gave us these horrified, hurt, angry looks, like we had taken over their turf. Now, I'm in my early twenties, so I don't quite feel like an "adult" yet -- but I forget that, to 6 and 7 year olds, I'm oooold.

So the one kid yells to us, "HEY."

We all turn and look at him.

"Shouldn't you be playing with ADULT toys?! ...Like a LAWNMOWER?!"

I almost died. Not only did I admire his brazenness, but the fact that he referred to a lawnmower as a "toy" was the most hilarious thing in the world. Because adults just LOOOVE mowing the lawn and mulching. It's our favorite pastime. (I also had to stop myself from yelling back, "Adult toys? You mean like a dildo?")

Now, at this point, I decided we should let the kids have their playground, since they, unlike us, were actually kids. Which I thought was the nice thing to do.

But this kid decided he wasn't finished with us yet.

As we walked by the kids, he decides to be a smartass one more time (and probably impress the little 6 year old girls in his company) and says in an awesomely snotty 7 year old voice, "Enjoy your LAWNMOWER."

And I don't know what came over me, but I turned to him without skipping a beat and said, "Enjoy your short life."

Hahah, and that's when my friends decided I should never have any other children after Miss Kitty. :)

Hopefully you enjoyed my story and don't think I'm a total asshole!



xx.xx.xx

[GardenCat]

;l;l those are classic!

My dad got remarried & had 3 more kids, when we were out at a restaurant the oldest (who is now taller than I will EVER be) had to use the bathroom so he said: My penis has a headache! (my step-mother figured she should teach him the proper name for body parts, I think she stopped with him!) ;l

[FaerieDreamer]

My son has recently been obsessed with his bellybutton. Everytime he has a diaper change he immediately pokes his finger in it. He'll even lift up his shirt and bend over just to find it. However, he can't quite say bellybutton just yet. He calls it his...


BellyButt! :)

[frozenframe]

Yesterday after hubby and Jack got home from buying a sled and playing in the snow...

Mommy: Jack, did you go to the store with daddy?
Jack: Um yes
Mommy: What did you get @ the store?
Jack: I got an itch!
Mommy: Where do you have an itch?
Jack: Right here in my pants. (stated while scratching his butt[post58])

[frozenframe]

duplicate post

[Meesh]

i got bronchitis over the weekend. my 12 year old said that while i was sleeping i was wheezing really loudly. he said," you sounded like this, 'eee-awww...eee-awww.. eee-awwww!'" he said, you sounded like a donkey! a big donkey! ;l;l;l

[Clementine]

My three-year-old was sitting at the table having breakfast.
My husband tripped over his fire truck riding toy, and Ethan promptly hops down from the chair and moves his truck from the middle of the floor to his toy room.
He then says, "I moved my fire truck out from the middle of the floor so you won't trip over it and fall down."
My husband replied, "Thank you, Ethan. That was so thoughtful of you."
Knowingly, I replied, "Were you concerened daddy might fall over?" Ethan said, "Yes. I dont want him falling on my truck and breaking it."

;l

[courey]

^ I saw you today! :)

Kaiya was sitting on the potty the other day and farted. She giggled and said, "that's funny. I like farting."

She is her father's daughter, fer sher. :e

[Clementine]

^ I saw you today! :)

Kaiya was sitting on the potty the other day and farted. She giggled and said, "that's funny. I like farting."

She is her father's daughter, fer sher. :e

;l
Other day, Ethan asked me if tooting was always funny.
I wasn't sure what to say, so I just said "especially when its not suppsed to be." heee

Were did you see me?

[courey]

I saw you on the corner of East Street driving to your fab new abode, I suppose :) Salem's psych is right there in that building! You were in your lil' blue car. I'm pretty sure that was you, anyway!

[bear]

Kids and tooting! ;l! My son yelled out "I tooted BIG" the other day. ;l! Of course I laughed.

[courey]

I remember announcing it in the middle of a crowded semi-fancy restaurant to my grandfather when I was probably 5. Of course I hated him. :)

[dormilona]

my husband still laughs about the time he was in second grade... it was quiet time and everyone was reading. he was holding it in forever, and finally just couldn't anymore. *huge loud fart* the whole class thought it was hillarious except for the teacher. poor kid, he was sent to the principals office for having gas.

[Fray]

Me: What's this word here?
Boy in Class: Fyoomuns. You know...a fyoomuns.
Me: ???
Boy in Class: I spelled it.
Me: So I see, well is it some sort of club?
Boy in Class: no, I'm a fyoomun.
Me: oh?
Boy in Class: We all are fyoomuns.
Me: *slaps own forehead* You mean a HUMAN?
Boy in Class: Duh Miss!

[Violet]

;l ;l Abi, that's fantastic! So cute.

I don't have any kids but I used to be a nanny. Your story reminds me of the time I was reading the homework of the little boy, he was very young, I watched and I came across the word "pencsle" I could not figure it out, I looked at it and looked at it and finally it hit me "pencil" - at least he knew there was a C in there somewhere!

[courey]

That reminds me of when my mom and I had this spelling game. I could not figure out for the life of me what a "yacht" was, much less how to pronounce it, so I went for the full on "yackt". My mom had a good laugh. :p

[Violet]

Oh I remember not knowing what the word "yacht" was! I was little but I remember it very clearly. I think I gave it a shot and pronounced it as if it rhymed with ranch, only with a t and the end. And when my Grandma told me how it was pronounced I thought to myself “now how would I ever have known that”

[courey]

Indeed. English is weird. ;)

[Clementine]

I saw you on the corner of East Street driving to your fab new abode, I suppose :) Salem's psych is right there in that building! You were in your lil' blue car. I'm pretty sure that was you, anyway!

I was definitely on East Street Monday! It was actually the only trip I made out that day. ;l
But my car is silver. Heehee

[courey]

I thought you had a blue Matrix?
I guess it was just a Wish-Rish then. boo.
It was around 4:10... sure it wasn't you? :)

[Clementine]

I thought you had a blue Matrix?
I guess it was just a Wish-Rish then. boo.
It was around 4:10... sure it wasn't you? :)

(Filthy) Silver Matrix.
I was out earlier in the day--'bout 3, I think.
You know, everytime I see a car like mine around town, it's ALWAYS a senior citizen diving. ;l

[FaerieDreamer]

going along with his belly button obsession, Xavier has developed a new way of letting me know he's hungry.

Xavier: "Mommy! My belly-butt hurts!"
Me: It hurts? What's wrong?
Xavier: Belly-butt wants goldfish!!"


silly kiddos :)

[DaintyLilPeanut]

I turned on the Christmas music today and the kids start dancing around in their roos. I realize that they are getting too rambunctious so I ask if they are up for some arts and crafts.

Sam claps and Chloe screams out, "Arts and Craps!"

[Fray]

I just met the cutest little girl in the shop! The line for the cash point had gotten so long it was touching the line for santa's grotto. A girl of about 5 years old turned to me, tugged on my trouser leg and said "Exchoose me, are you waiting to see santa?"

[Violet]

Awww, abi! That's too cute.

[courey]

Kaiya just walked up to me and said, "My hiccups are gone. See?" And then opened her mouth really wide. ;l

[Fray]

awww, that's cute!

[stupidANDcontagious]

Me: Do you want breakfast?

My son: Obviously.

He's three and a half. :r

[Fray]

all about the 'tude man! [post28]

[frozenframe]

Jack is starting to pay a lot more attention to Alex. In the last couple days he's wanted to sit with me when Alex is nursing. He watches and looks on all sorts of curious.
Then he pulled up his shirt and said
"Give Alex a me. Alex eat MY belly!" pointing to his belly button.
heeheeehee my 2yr old wants to nurse his brother.[heart]

[Fray]

Today a little girl asked what my name was, to which I replied "Miss ______".

She then turned to discuss this with her friend before turning back to me and asking "Is that a girl's name or a boy's name?"

[FaerieDreamer]

We're still in the belly button phase here. Just yesterday he pulled up his shirt and stuck a finger in it, then declared

"Don't push bellybutton, I get hiccups!"

When I laughed and asked him about it, he said "Push belly button, I get hiccups, and go poop!"


*laugh*

[courey]

The kids were getting dressed in their pj's last night and Kaiya was struggling to undo this massive button on her pants. She stood there and said, "Man! This is the biggest button I ever had in my whole life!" which was true, but just not something I'd ever expected to hear her say ;l

[bear]

My daughter in the shower with me the other day... "mommy you have a big butt".

I told her I'd remind her that she told me that when she was about say 15. :p

[jenea]

My daughter (3) and I were talking about who's birthday is next (mine is) and I said "who do you love in this world most besides daddy?" she yells out "Gram"!!!

[FaerieDreamer]

So my son has gotten into the lovely habit of throwing things around the house when he's bored or frustrated. The other day he did it and narrowly missed hitting the tv with a hotwheel. I looked at him and said "Xavier Logan, you do NOT throw cars!" in my best "angry mommy voice"

He replied:

"Mommy Logan! Don't yell at me!"

It took all my strength not to bust out laughing.

[bear]

Boy child says, "Mommy I love you ALL the way up to outer space!"
:)

[courey]

adorable! :)



Kaiya has reasoned out that she is whatever color her clothes are. Example: pink outfit = "I'm Pink Kaiya!". Every morning she exclaims what color she is for the day... ;l

[Clementine]

I just love this thread so very much. That's why I had to rate it five stars. Most Excellent!

I can't remember if I've already posted that Ethan calls freckles "sprinkles." "Mommy, I have a sprinkle right here!"
Cutest thing ever!!!!

[DaintyLilPeanut]

Last night, my husband made homemade pizza. It is the best. He's only gotten better over time.

Because I'm on the WW diet, I can only stare and drool. I stare for roughly five minutes with that delishiousness whafting up my nose and through my body and I can't take it. I start whining.

Me: "That smells so good! I can't stand diets when you do the cooking!"
My son: "Well, you can't have any. You have to count your points."

He's only 3! He shouldn't know this stuff by heart. Or maybe it is I that is talking about it too much. Doh!

;l

[Clementine]

Ethan's really into making up stories.

Today he told me he had a peacock grow in his tummy, and then it "drived out, and drived to the zoo. It has it's own car."

There are so many more, and so many outrageous ones. One of the first ones he made up was about the little boy who "lives in our house and plays with me every day."

I know imaginary friends are quite normal, especially for his age group, but his detailed description of this kid actually started to freak me out! He never mentioned it again, so I think he was just storytelling rather than having an imaginary friend.

Kids, eh?

[LavenderSession]

The other morning I asked Brent to wake Morgan up and so he went in and started singing to her and she said "Daddy, stop with the singing of that song! I'm trying to sleep here!" And then she pulled the pillow over her head. I had tears streaming down my face I was laughing so hard.

[bear]

So get this. And I did find it funny although it really isn't very funny!

I'm sitting out front with my neighbor. She is 5. My daughter used to play with her a lot but is 9 and ventures over to the other side of the street to play with those her age now.

So neighbor girl is watching my daughter skip away.
her: I love her. She is so pretty.
me: Aw, that's really sweet.
her: my mommy thinks she is ugly
me: !!!
me: well that isn't a very nice thing to say.
her: oh i know. i wasn't proud of my mommy for saying that.
me: !!!
her: i don't like when my mommy says mean things about my friends. i'm only proud when she says nice things.
me: well that is very good of you.

;l! wtf? i mean she may very well have said that about my kid or her kid may very well have taken a comment like "i think you are prettier" and switched it around. either or, i giggled.

[ej]

Overheard a few days ago at the daycare when I picked up my daughter.

Kid: Daddy! You're alive!!

Jeez. Did Mom tell the kid some awkward shit about Daddy or something? ;u

[FaerieDreamer]

I have two from this weekend.

1) We wake up Sunday morning, and Xavier's giggling and wiggling around between us. I start tickling him and he declares "Mommy, keep your hands to yourself!"


2) We went out to a friends birthday dinner Sunday evening. While we're driving, Xavier spots an overpass and decides he wants to "go that way, go under the bridge." I say we can't because I have to drive the other way. He says "I want to drive the car Mommy!"

sheesh!

[FaerieDreamer]

double post!

[bear]

Overheard a few days ago at the daycare when I picked up my daughter.

Kid: Daddy! You're alive!!

Jeez. Did Mom tell the kid some awkward shit about Daddy or something? ;u

;l!

[TitanZERO]

My 4 year old daughter and I were at that Grocery store, when we were in line she turns and yells, "Your body discuss me! I am ashamed of you!"

We tease eachother all the time....but that one had me rolling.

Love the kids.

[Luv.Bug]

Our cat critter passed away a few weeks ago, so when my five year old daughter came home she asked 'where's critter mommy'? I had let her know that he had passed on, so she kinda looked around the house and I watched her...Then she turned and looked at me and said 'mommy? did you give critter to heaven?', I just thought it was cute..

[bear]

As some of you know my son is all about his butt. Thinks all things butt related are hilarious.

He was in the tub last night and said "mommy I tooted bubbles"!!!! ;l

How can you not laugh? How?

[Clementine]

Ethan's favorite song in the world is "Parasol" by Tori Amos.
He requests it any time we're in the car.
Cute thing is how he sings it so loud and proud.
But! Instead of the lyric, "parasol," he sings, "pair of salt." He gets all the other words right, though.
He sings really well, too. :D

[LavenderSession]

We were fishing about a month ago. We were driving down the road in silence when out of nowhere, Morgan yells "Oh my God, a cactus!!" I thought it was so funny cause we live in the desert and there are cactus (cacti?) everywhere!

[courey]

Kaiya's into the "butt" word these days, too ;) She's always putting another word in front of butt to make something up. "Pigeon butt" is her current fav. ;l

[DancingGirl]

My nephew who is 7 likes to call people "fart-fart-fart" any farting of any kind is just hilarious to them.

[bear]

Kaiya's into the "butt" word these days, too ;) She's always putting another word in front of butt to make something up. "Pigeon butt" is her current fav. ;l

;l! Ours is "marshmellow butt" and it is MY fault because I always pinch his butt and say that. oops. ;)

[courey]

Well, I guess "marshmellow" is better that "mountain", which kaiya has laughed over a few times. :p I try not to take it personally!

[courey]

Kaiya strikes again....
She just got out of a time out for putting the cat's food in his water dish. So she comes out of her room afterward and announces that she's "done behaving". ;l

The other day we were outside playing on the porch, and Garion saw a bee flying by. He takes off running, doing his little fake-scared yell, saying, "It's a bee! It's crazy!" I don't know where these kids come up with this stuff.

[supernova]

"Which alligator are we going in?"

(alligator = elevator)

[Adrian]

My son is fascinated with nipples. To his grandmother he said, "you have big nipples." To me he said, "you have hairy nipples."
All these things are true.

[FaerieDreamer]

Yesterday as we're driving home...

X: Mommy, look! An aliens!

Me: An alien? where?

X: No an Aliens! with the lights!

Me: (looking around for what he could possibly be talking about) OH...the Ambulance?

X: YES! The aliens!


I love these mispronunciations sometimes.

[courey]

Kaiya has somehow arrived at the conclusion that tasty = bad. Whenever she doesn't want to finish eating or drinking something she says, "It's too tasty." ;l

[Froglover]

One day I took a friend's little 4 year old daughter to the zoo. This friend is very overweight, but her daughter is not. When we got to the elephants the little girl stood watching for quite a long time and seemed to be fascinated with them. Then all of a sudden she turned to me and stated "My mummy is an elephant". ;u

[FaerieDreamer]

We got the newish Peter Pan dvd from netflix last week and Xavier loved it. He especially loved the part when Tink 'dies' and they bring her back by chanting "I do believe in Faeries. I do I do." So he started chanting with them..

"I do in need the berries! I do I do!"

[LavenderSession]

A Listerine Pocket Packs commercial was on and when it was over, Morgan turned to me and said "I want that for my daddy." I said "Why?" and she answered "Cause his breath is stinky." [post83]

[courey]

Earlier today I'd cut my toe open banging it into something. I'm a clutz sometimes. Anyway, I went and cleaned it off and put a bandaid on it before it bled all over my new sandals - the bandaids I found first were Kaiya's Care Bear bandaids. :r I didn't think Kaiya had noticed until several hours later she was taking a bath and pointed out an "imaginary boo boo" and said, "Can you take my bandage off of your toe now so I can use it?" Just so wrong on many levels. ;l

[NightRose]

My son is now 7. When he was 5 he was outside with his dad. Somehow a conversation started between my husband and another tenant from the building. She was really tall about 6 feet and was wearing a short skirt. My son is very friendly and ran up and was talking to her. She was talking to him and he went to hug her legs. My husband said our son got a strange look on his face and looked over at him. My husband asked him what was wrong and our son says "Daddy why isn't she wearing underwear?"

My husband said the girl went about 6 shades of red and quickly took off and he was trying not to laugh. I ran into her a couple of days later during a fire alarm and was wondering why she was pointing at my son and whispering to her friend. Mentioned it to my hubby and he told me the whole story. Out of the mouth of babes. [post83]

[Adrian]

When we're in the car and my kids see an 18-wheeler, they make horn blowing motion with their arm. When a trucker honks they clap and get all kinds of happy. Well today we were going down the road and my daughter saw four trucks parked together.

She screamed, "look semites!" (as apposed to semi's)

I LMFAO!

[bear]

so we are in the car the other day with boy child, girl child and girl child's dramarific friend in the back. the girls start bickering as they do.

my 5 yo son says "uuhh, don't start this crap again!"

not quite sure where he got that from.

[courey]

Gems from today:

Kaiya, looking at the tomatoe plants: Look Mommy, baby tomatoes!
Me: Yep; when they turn red, we can eat them.
Kaiya, 20 minutes later: Mommy, are those tomatoes red yet?

I think she might get her patience from me....


Garion: *burp* Oh 'scuse me; I farted in my mouth.

;l

[courey]

Salem is watching Jeopardy, and answered correctly a biblical question. He then shouts, "Church works!" as if the whole purpose of church is to learn things in order to be able to correctly answer Jeopardy questions. ;l

[LavenderSession]

Morgan told me to "simmer down" when I got irritated with her the other day.

[post83]

[CocaineLipgloss]

I was having a conversation with the four year old I nanny for about brains. I told him that brains were in your head, and he goes "No they're not! They're here!" And then he squeezed my right boob.

[LavenderSession]

Morgan: "I need some more gas for my poots."

[courey]

I was having a conversation with the four year old I nanny for about brains. I told him that brains were in your head, and he goes "No they're not! They're here!" And then he squeezed my right boob.

wtf! ;u

[courey]

Yeah. Well, that and meet girls and eat candy. The whole church thing is just social hour to him, anyway. :p

[Kirst]

Eating milky way stars, 2 year old son:

"Mummy, I like chocolate starfish".

[courey]

David was in the kids room talking to them earlier today, and wasn't wearing a shirt. Our youngest child pointed to his boob and asked what that was, so David said, "It's a boobie." So Kaiya said, "Daddy has boobies, Garion has boobies, Kaiya has boobies. And mommy has great great boobies!" ;l

well, at least she thinks so.. lol.

[hellopeople]

Oooh I have many cute stories about my baby cousin Bon-bon.

So before bon-bon ever spoke, me my mom and his mom (my half-aunt) were int he car talking about some family member that got in trouble with the cops, and my mom said "cusemec" which in arabic means literally "your mom's vagina" but people use it as motherfucker. So we're driving, and there's silence, and thirty minutes later bon-bon says his first word "cuse!" (vagina). ;u . My mom seemed to think that he said it on porpose but to this day I think that he was just blabbering :).

And bon-bon likes to copy what people say, so let's say I walk into the room and say "hi bon-bon! I missed you so much, give me a hug!!!!" he would just repeat after me, "h-h-hi bon-BON give (incoherent blubbering) HUG!" hehe, he has a habit of mumbling and then shouting words in excitement[post83] .

And bon-bon has a nanny that's a close family friend of our, and she's quite the drama queen; "oh my god!" is her favorite phrase. So now every time the crayon breaks bon-bon claps his hands over his cheecks and yells "OH ME GOD!"

And he likes to say "no" a lot, even when he means yes. So I was washing my face in the bathroom, and bon-bon walks in and I ask "do you need to pee-pee, sweetie?" and he says no as he's peeing in the toilet[post83] .

I love my bon-bon so much!

[Dillinger]

At the rib fest today, which I'm told is the 2nd largest rib competition in North America, so picture a big park full of contestants selling ribs. My 5 yr.old nephew turns to me and says, "This place doesn't have much of a selection". LOL.

[courey]

;l

[PotatoFace]

bear,

he's 5 already??? My god, weren't you just pregnant with him?

[St. Theresa]

At the rib fest today, which I'm told is the 2nd largest rib competition in North America, so picture a big park full of contestants selling ribs. My 5 yr.old nephew turns to me and says, "This place doesn't have much of a selection". LOL.
[post83]

My kids are too old to say little kid cute things. But I still am surprised at some of the things that come out of their mouths.

[post59]

My son jokingly calls me "Grandma" all the time. I'd murder him if it weren't illegal.

[NightRose]

Oh I have thought of another one that my son has said.

His father and I got married last year. Well we were having trouble with one of my bridesmaids and my husband was fed up with her and pretty much threw her out of the wedding party. Well he gave her one last chance to redeem herself and said if she didn't make it to the rehearsal at the church then she better not show up to the wedding the next day because he wouldn't marry me. Well she called me and told me that she had tried calling my MOH's cell (which she did because the phone rang but MOH hung up and turned off the phone) wanting to see if we were still at the church because she didn't know how long it would take and how to get there. I felt bad and told her she could still come and be a part of the wedding and told hubby. He was a little more than pissed and still insisted that he wouldn't marry me if she was there. Well we got to the church before him because he was late ( another story all together) and my son had come downstairs to see me. He looked up at my bridesmaid and said " My daddy said he wasn't going to marry my mommy if you were here" ;u

She looked terrified and asked me if she should leave and if he was really serious. I told her not to worry about it and it would be fine. He ended up being 40 min late for the ceremony so I was a little more than freaked. But how my son said it to her was absolutely priceless. [post83]

[LavenderSession]

Morgan to her daddy: "Stop singing Daddy. It hurts people's ears."

[FaerieDreamer]

So my son has turned into one huge backseat driver. Probably completely my fault right, I'm always muttering to myself as I drive. Usually he pops off with stuff like "Mommy! It's green! That means go! Mommy, watch out for the tree! Don't drive on the sidewalk Mom!" I don't know where he learned those last two. :)

But this weekend, he just had my laughing so hard. We ended up stopped behind this boat of an oldsmobile, I wanted to move into the left turn lane, but there was no way I was going to fit. So I stopped and was waiting for the light to change ahead. Xavier pops up in the background

"MOMMY! Hit the Horn! You gotta be kidding me! Get outta the way!!!"



heheheh oops. looks like I've gotta watch what I'm saying when I drive huh? And seriously I've only ever honked at someone *once* with him, that was at a light while this chicka was gabbing on the cell phone not paying attention that it had changed to green.

[Ryoko!]

My little man has informed me that I have

"plenty of butts"

The best thing (and I know this is SO RUDE) is when they get super critical of everything, just you know, matter of fact like.

We were in Wal-Mart and while mom and dad were browsing an aisle together he decided to play the 'which one is bigger game' that dear mom played with him the day before with blocks.

Only it was two rather large girls.

So he's like, "hmmmm which one is bigger?" and takes turns pointing at each one. meanwhile, we just kept browsing not paying too much attention to what he was pointing to or talking about. Yeah, so i finally look up and I'm getting that death glare from the two girls. Good stuff.

He's also called a guy with a birthmark on his face a monster-man.
Told a lady she smelled like 'bad news' at the grocery store

there's too many to remember at this point...

[Ryoko!]

oh yeah, and when ever we try to get him to eat something he doesn't want to...
"oh no, it will make me choke, i'll be sick"

He also picked his nose and get mad at me when i threw away "his best friend" and made him wash his hands.

[courey]

Kaiya, using the potty tonight:
"Byyyye bye, poop! Wear your seatbelt!"
*flush*

;l

[hellopeople]

So bon-bon is going through a tough time where he thinks that his parents are leaving him. Like he can't stand to be more than five feet away from them.

So his dad takes him to poop and he says, "daddy wait for me! My poopy's stuck!"

[post83] [post83] [post83]

[Ryoko!]

I have a dawdler, he'll sit on the toliet forever... and I tried to rush him the other day it was

"mommy!! Why won't you let me poop!"

[Fray]

Kaiya, using the potty tonight:
"Byyyye bye, poop! Wear your seatbelt!"
*flush*

;l

;l;l;l! Where does she get all this from?

[courey]

I have no idea; she's such a ham. :p

[toriwannabe]

My 2 year-old niece's grandma is always trying to get her to say people's names, so it went like this:

gran:"who's that?" pointing to aunty libby. "That's Libby."
niece: "bip" (not quite right, but close enough!)
gran: "that's right. And who's this?", pointing to herself.
niece: "this".

Yep, Grandma is now known as "This" [post24]

She also says "dear, dear" whenever she drops something or does something wrong. Another phrase courtesy of grandma.

[~vjay~]

My 5yo son has a tendency to grab hold of someone and try and plant a sloppy kiss on their cheek and then proceeds to say "I fell in love with you"


lmao.

[FaerieDreamer]

So Xavier has learned the wonderful power of descriptions...along with that a new favorite word.


When out at a restaurant and Daddy accidentally got wing sauce on his face:
"EEEEWWWW DADDY YOU GOT FOOD ON YOUR FACE, THAT'S BISGUSTING!!!"

At home, preparing to sit down to dinner to eat chili:
"Mommy! I don't like chiwi! It looks like poopie! It's bisgusting!"

After having a poop accident in his pullup:
"EEWWW Mommy! Poopie is on my leg! How bisgusting!!!"

yes...his new favorite word, used anytime he doesn't like something, is disgusting. I have no clue where he learned it, but it's there and it makes me laugh everytime. I've taken to saying bisgusting myself.

[bear]

So my wean was having penis issues. He couldn't pee this morning so I asked my husband to take him to the dr. Turns out my husband had been using SHAMPOO as bubble bath. So I get a phone call from my son, 5, and he says "mommy, I am NOT allowed to take bubble baths anymore. I can get NEAR the bubbles but I canNOT sit in the bubbles."

;l;l;l!

This was quite the learning experience for my husband and rather entertaining for me!

[Just Pat]

Skye is 2 and was recently recalling when we were at the beach and the little *Kermit* crabs were peeking their little eyes out of the sand.

[Rose Bud]

Hmm, yeah I wish my kid would say funny things. He's 3 and is speech delayed so yeah. I wish my kid would say funny things. :(

[Just Pat]

He'll make up for it. Boys are usually slower to start talking. Einstein wasn't even an early talker.

[Rose Bud]

He'll make up for it. Boys are usually slower to start talking. Einstein wasn't even an early talker.

I thought that a year ago but it's not just a matter of being a late talker anymore. He was evaluated by a speech pathologist at 2 and a half (6 months ago) and they determined that he not only was speech delayed but was delayed in comprehension too, because he wouldn't follow directions. I think his comprehension skills have caught up (because he does follow directions now), but he's still behind on speech. He's being evaluated again on the 23rd. And he's at the age where we have to do something before he's old enough for kindergarten. If he's determined to still be delayed he'll be getting services through the school district.

[CocaineLipgloss]

Two out of the three kids I babysit for have or have had speech therapy and it really, really helped them. The older child I sit had it back when he was two and his mom told me that she couldn't believe how fast he started to talk. The baby started it at 18 months because she was hardly saying anything, and after a couple months she has gotten much better.

[Rose Bud]

Two out of the three kids I babysit for have or have had speech therapy and it really, really helped them. The older child I sit had it back when he was two and his mom told me that she couldn't believe how fast he started to talk. The baby started it at 18 months because she was hardly saying anything, and after a couple months she has gotten much better.


Thanks for posting that. Nicholas has made a lot of progress on his own from us working with him the last 6 months, but that also shows me that he could be doing so much better if he had a trained professional helping him, too.

Though I do now have a couple of funny things he said to share!

Saturday night, I slept on the couch because I fell asleep watching a movie out there. At 5 in the morning, Nicholas woke up and came out to the couch, saw me sleeping there, and then went into our bedroom. Mike, my husband, tells me that Nicholas told him "Papa wake up, mama snoring".

Then there is one from this morning. My mom watches the kids while my husband and I are at work. Nicholas is very much into blue's clues right now, so my mom had bought him an inflatable Thinking Chair off of ebay, but it kept leaking. She bought him another one and it arrived this weekend, so she had it inflated and wating for him this morning. He ran into the living room, and when he saw a new Thinking Chair that wasn't half deflated, he said "Nice!".

[Rose Bud]

Gee it would figure, as soon as I say Nicholas doesn't say funny things, that he busts out with a few of them.

I've taken Nicholas grocery shopping with me the last couple of weeks (he's actually not too bad to take grocery shopping) and today was no different. He's also learned how to buckle himself into his booster seat in the car. So I was getting us in the car and I can tell Nicholas is struggling to get the straps buckled. I asked him "Do you need help?" and he told me "Yes, I need help!" (He's made a lot of progress over the last couple weeks alone, with putting sentences together, and using pronouns too). So I finished buckling him in, and once I'm done he says "Whew!" complete with the wiping of his hand across his forehead. Wonder where he learned that one...:r

[courey]

I've been trying to get the younger two excited about Kaiya entering Kindergarten next year [and please god, hopefully Garion entering preschool at the same time], so they're all about the "next year" phrase right now.

Skip forward to dinner tonight: Salem was outside practicing his trumpet for band and Garion pipes up with, "Salem is playing a trumpet. Is my trumpet next year?"

:p

[entropy]

when trying to talk to my 2 year old about using the toliet. i ask her if she "needs to pee pee on the toliet". Recently when it rains, she'll say "Pee pee toliet outside". it took me a few days of rain to realize that was her way of saying it was raining. where do they get this stuff?

[courey]

I just had a moment of "whoa" :p

I had packed away some of Salem's old toys that I wanted to keep for Kaiya and Garion to play with when they got old enough, and today brought out a bin of dinosaur toys. One of them is actually a godzilla toy that has a couple of buttons and makes noise and opens its mouth. Anyway, when Salem used to play with that one years and years before Kaiya and Garion were even born, he called it his "daddy dinosaur" for whatever reason. I can't think of a single time Kaiya would have heard him say that, as I've had the dinosaurs put away for at least a couple of years now, and she's only 4. Well.. she's sitting in the floor playing with the godzilla and just called it her "mommy dinosaur."

whoa!

[Rose Bud]

So for those interested in Nicholas's speech issue, we had his 2nd evaluation yesterday.

He has made a ton of progress, and he is still behind, but he isn't as delayed as before.

The worrying issue is his enunciation problems. At age 3 his speech should be clear about 80% of the time, and it isn't. He has trouble making sounds that involve his tongue, and the c and k sounds. So he does qualify for speech therapy through the school district and I am calling them today to get that process started.

[FaerieDreamer]

That's great news! I had a horrible lisp when I was younger and was in speech therapy from about 2-4th grade. It will probably be a lot easier for Nicholas since he's so young.

[supernova]

The other day my son comes up to me while I'm on the computer and says, "Mom, are you checking your e-man?".

[Rose Bud]

That's great news! I had a horrible lisp when I was younger and was in speech therapy from about 2-4th grade. It will probably be a lot easier for Nicholas since he's so young.

I had enunciation problems as a kid, and so did my husband so it's not that big of a surprise that he has them too. I had speech therapy when I was in the first or second grade, I can't remember, and my husband had it in junior high. Just now to convince my mother that no, us working with him won't be enough. He needs to be taught how to make the sounds with his tongue and we don't know how to do that. Well, she doesn't know that I am re-arranging my work schedule so I can take Nicholas to his therapy, even if it means cutting my hours.

[FaerieDreamer]

This is more of an awww moment, than a funny one, but I still want to share.

We took my husband to the airport yesterday for a business trip. When we got back from the airport, our cat Lucky met us at the door. Xavier reached down and petted him and said "Don't worry Lucky. Daddy went on an airplane, but he'll be back on Friday. It's okay!"


*melt*

[courey]

Mine have had horrid moments of loud statements to/about strangers since Friday. It's so mortifying that I'm actually considering not letting them out of the house until they're at least 18.

Since Friday, we've had:
"You have a fat head!"
"You have a giant butt!"
and, of course, answering, "butt!" whenever anyone passes by and says hello.

mortifying.

[Just Pat]

Last month I was with Skye at this big Brooklyn park while her parents were just a few feet away. Some smaller little girls were on the slides and while we waited for them to finish, Skye points to this adorable little girl and says loudly to me, "She's a nutcase!" I almost died. The moms of the two little girls definitely heard it very clearly. *sigh*

[courey]

It's so bad! ;l What's worse is when they take you so off-guard that you actually laugh and then think, "wait, I'm supposed to be scolding!" oh god. It's just so mortifying. Too bad we can't just blame it on Tourette's :e

[Just Pat]

I was dumbfounded! I hear Skye may have also offended Joan Osborne's little girl---twice! I was there once when she tried to steer her away from her toys.

[bear]

My 5 yo came home with a library book about comets. We were reading it this morning and he asked how old he'd be when Halley's comet returns in 2061. I told him I'd be 98 then said "oops I mean 88!"

He says, "Good thing you won't be 98 because you'd be dead!"

;l

[diary of wood]

My niece is 19 months old and has started talking.

One night last week, my sis-in-law was watching Jeopardy. Just messing around, she asked my niece "who's that?" when Alex Trebek appeared on the screen.

She replied, "Daddy!"

;l

[DancingGirl]

My nephew is 7 years old and he just cracks me up with the terminology this kid has. I was in the car with him and he was playing his DS in the car. There was a little silver suitcase next to him on the seat and I asked him if that was the case for his games and he says, "Not necessarily" [post83]

Then later on, he was telling me about this camera that his dad got him and how he likes to take pictures of "inanimate objects" and that he took a picture of the toilet after he peed in it. :r

[isla]

There is a lady that apparently I look like. People think that I am her all the time. I don't see it. I don't think so. I asked my daughter once if I looked like this other lady. My daughter said, "Oh no...she's much prettier."
thanks. glad I asked...

[isla]

Then later on, he was telling me about this camera that his dad got him and how he likes to take pictures of "inanimate objects" and that he took a picture of the toilet after he peed in it. :r

LOVE IT...

[NightRose]

Oh the comments coming from my son lately. I don't know whether to punish him or laugh hysterically.

The other night I was at my computer and he was watching some show on tv. I have a headset so that when I am listening to music I don't disturbed my husband or son when they are watching tv. My son came over to me and said "Mom, who sings that song?" I looked at him and said "what" and he repeated the question. I guess I had been singing along and didn't realize it. So I said "Britney Spears" well without missing a beat and with a totally serious look he says and I quote "You should leave it that way"

This was my reaction [shock] My husband started laughing and then my son smiled at me and I was still sitting there like this [shock]

Ah out of the mouth of babes. I don't think he meant it in a rude way and he did have a bit of a smirk. I was just so shocked he said that. Guess he doesn't like my singing. [post83]

[courey]

I had to go pick up a book today for my business stuff, and as we were leaving, my daughter asked, "What book did you get?" So I told her it was a book for big people, for my job, and she said, "It's not for short people?" ;l Dave and I, I can think of maybe one or two times ever that we've called them "short people". I don't know where she comes up with it. :p

[ej]

One night last week, my sis-in-law was watching Jeopardy. Just messing around, she asked my niece "who's that?" when Alex Trebek appeared on the screen.

She replied, "Daddy!"When I had Matrix wallpaper on my computer (Carrie Ann Moss as Trinity), my daughter was endlessly pointing to it and saying "Mommy!" :)

[FaerieDreamer]

Tuesday night we flew home from our vacation to California. The flight was horrid, turbulence the entire way into Denver thanks to a snow storm.

My son, sitting nice and comfy in his carseat said "Mommy! It's a rollercoaster!"

[PandaWatch!]

You gotta love kids with the mistaken identity thing. My 3 year old pointed to the TV and said "Papa" (meaning my father) when I was flipping by a movie and Ed Harris was on the screen. Since I have a weird attraction for Ed Harris, it made me feel icky. (And no, Ed Harris looks nothing like my dad. I think it was just because it was a closeup of his face and he had a white goatee).

[diary of wood]

^ My brother bares no resemblance to Alex Trebek whatsoever, so my niece's gleeful cry of "Daddy!" was completely random and hilarious.

I still gigglesnort when I think about it. ;l

[courey]

We watched The Polar Express this afternoon, and explained to Garion that Santa loves good boys and girls. Now every time we tell him he's being a good boy he chimes in with, "Yes. Santa loves me." ;l

[katz]

^ i should watch that again

[courey]

It was our first time, and wow! that was fantastic! David still hasn't seen it, so we can watch it again this weekend :)

[katz]

I'm not a big Tom Hanks fan (ok early Tom Hanks I like....and the Green Mile...) but I really enjoyed PE. It made me all squishy inside. I'll wait till my mommy comes back and we can watch it again at Christmas like we did last year

[courey]

I [post28] Tom!

[katz]

i think the whole survivor island movie killed it for me :\

[half1113]

That's the only one I don't watch repeatedly. Well I don't watch Philadelphia much either but that's because I cry.

[courey]

Kaiya and Garion are having quiet time in their room since they decided to throw their lunch all over the kitchen. Apparently, quiet time consists of the two of them fighting, making a huge mess of their room, and all of that insanity inducing stuff. Kaiya is vehemently claiming to Garion, "You can't catch me; I'm the gingerbread man!" Garion answers back, "I'm going to eat you, gingerbread man."

[Autumn]

Ahem.

A couple weeks ago, I allowed my daughter to put temporary red streaks in her hair (winter break). She was quizzing me about temporary hair dye, permanant hair dye, how it works, etc. I explain to her at some point that it's a bad idea to start dying your hair permanantly, because then you have to continue to do it the rest of your life, or else your hair will be half one color, and half another. She said, "Like yours?" with a smirk on her face.

Yes. Like mine. You got it!

[courey]

Ah, the brutal honesty of childhood ;l

[LavenderSession]

My friend flew in from Alabama for the kids' Baptism as she is their godmother. Thursday Morgan asked "Is my fairy godmother coming today Mama?"

Then Friday she was sitting on the couch with my friend and started running her fingers on her back. Allison asked "What are you doing?" And Morgan said "Where are your wings?"

[katz]

ooh that's so sweet!

[FaerieDreamer]

So every night at bedtime, I always give Xavier a 10 minute heads up to let him know it's time to start winding down and cleaning up.

Last night was no different. Except, when he it came time for the 10 minutes to be up, he started whining and fussing. I told him, "Xavier, I gave you your warning, now it's time for bedtime."

He looks at me and says "Mommy, can I give my warning back?"

[LavenderSession]

That's too funny!!

[St. Theresa]

From a 12 year-old, who soon understood the hilarity of what she was saying regarding her violin (in class!):

"I broke my g-string, and I'm getting another one, and Ms. Kelley is going to put it on so, 'til that happens, I can only finger it."

[bear]

askljdflsajf!!! Oh dear!

[LavenderSession]

Thanks for the laugh!

[bear]

My son put his head on my chest last night and promptly announced he could hear my heart beeping. hee!

[St. Theresa]

LOL...leave a message after the heartbeep.

[PandaWatch!]

No matter what my 3 year old says, it always comes out sounding dirty.
Pants sounds like piss. Shirt sounds like shit.

My personal fave is when he says "count." Every time he counts to ten he'll say, "Nice Count!" Only it sounds like cunt. He's going to say that in public one day and I will be all sorts of embarrassed. :f
But damn if it isn't funny!

[courey]

My younger two sitting at the kitchen table together playing with play-doh:

Garion: Can I have that green?
Kaiya: Okay, but you have to say "please" in Spanish.

wtf? ;l

[PandaWatch!]

^^Does someone watch Dora? ;l

This little gem happened last month on the car trip back from visiting my in-laws. Now, Sean has unfortunately picked up on "Goddamn." We always tell him, "No, buddy. We don't say that. We say 'Fudge.'" Then he'll correct himself and everybody's happy.
Well, on the way back from our trip he's in the back seat just randomly saying "Goddamn. Goddamn." over and over again. Of course we go, "No, buddy. What do you say?" He comes out with, "Goddamn, please."

I thought I was going to literally die laughing.

[courey]

They used to, yeah, but haven't done so in about 6 months. Dragon Tales was playing in the background, and they were singing in Spanish, so I guess she was listening, even though she wasn't watching.

Kids are scary sponges. :p

[bellegurl]

"Mom, you look very extinguished today."--This, a few days ago!

[FaerieDreamer]

overheard in my house last night:

"Daddy! The Paintchips just made a scar!"

The who?

"The Paintchips! in football!"

oh you mean the Patriots?

"YES! The Paintchips!"

[PandaWatch!]

^^That is fantastic!

(On a personal note: I don't even want to think about that game. My husband was in such a foul mood after the Pats lost. That gives me a reason to giggle.)

[Autumn]

My daughter, singing Sweet Home Alabama:

"Swing Long, Alabama"

Whatever that means!

[bellegurl]

^cute! When my son was 3, he was reciting "One, Two, Buckle My Shoe." When he got to "Nine, ten, big fat hen," he proudly belted out, "Nine, ten, big fat whore!"

It was all I could do to keep a straight face!!

[courey]

When my 12 year old was about that age, we bought a Buzz Lightyear toy for him, because that was all the rage. He was so excited on the way to the cashier, he belted out, "I'm Buzz Lightyear! I come and piss!" If ever there was a time I could have willed myself to evaporate, that was it.

[bellegurl]

^[post83] My girlfriend once took her seven year old son to the market after school. Unbeknownst to her, they had a little biology lesson that day. The little boy sees a girl about his age in the market place, and says, "You have a lovely vulva!"

[toriwannabe]

^ oh dear!

I love it when you hear kids sing the alphabet song. They get to "LMNOP" and kind of mumble their way through it....elummmlohpee

[katz]

^heck i still do that sometimes *L*

[Autumn]

For the first 10 years of my life, I thought there was a letter "elemeno". :(

[FaerieDreamer]

hahah Xavier's just starting to differentiate between the letters. For the longest time it was "n n n o p"

[Autumn]

OK. So. Our dog, Johnny, likes loves playing ball. It's his most favorite thing. Unfortunately, he also loses them quite frequently. This morning Taylor was looking for all of his missing toys.

"Mom! I found Johnny's balls!"

*snort* "Uh, OH! Great!"

"Now I just have to find his blue balls!"

*dies*

[Just Pat]

My 2 year old granddaughter, Skye, likes to play a *game* while we sit in her room and she and I take turns saying "tastes like...chicken" from her The Pigeon Eats a Hot Dog book but substitutes the last work-- chicken for nearly everything she (or ) see in the room. The funniest is when she says, "Tastes like BALLS!"

[St. Theresa]

OK. So. Our dog, Johnny, likes loves playing ball. It's his most favorite thing. Unfortunately, he also loses them quite frequently. This morning Taylor was looking for all of his missing toys.

"Mom! I found Johnny's balls!"

*snort* "Uh, OH! Great!"

"Now I just have to find his blue balls!"

*dies*
;l

My kids have a computer schedule, and I try to be strict about it because she, especially, will take advantage. When I tell her it's past her time, it seems to take forever to actually move her ass from the vicinity of the PC. She's got like 12 AIM friends with whom to share long good-byes.

I got impatient and asked her what she was still doing at the computer and she said, "I'm getting off!" ;D

[ej]

I'm TOTALLY draconian. I automate the shutdown, so even if the boy's not done, the machine is. I'm waiting to hear him scream "FUCK!" from his bedroom.

[St. Theresa]

I'm TOTALLY draconian. I automate the shutdown, so even if the boy's not done, the machine is. I'm waiting to hear him scream "FUCK!" from his bedroom.
Imma gonna do that. :)

[courey]

Adventures in play-doh, part deux.

Kaiya just came up to me, proudly displaying the star shape she'd cut out of the play-doh. She also said, equally as proud, "look what I wrote on it!" Upon further inspection I noticed the "ho" in the center. rahahah. I hope this isn't some kind of prophecy!

[FaerieDreamer]

My words came back to me today...


Xavier was dawdling getting dressed this morning. He kept telling me he "had to drive his cars to the garage!" (playing hotwheels). After about 10 minutes he finally had all his cars where he wanted them, and came over to me to get dressed. He looked me in the face and said...


"THERE! Was that so difficult?!?"


I just started laughing so hard. I mean, how do you even respond? That's exactly what I always tell him when he's frustrated about not wanting to do something!

[Just Pat]

^That was adorable!

My husband and I just did a big doll/sculpture show in NYC and when we brought part of it upstairs, a black tree that the Alice and cat were to sit on Skye said "I have to get out my glitter pens!" She thought it needed some serious embellishment.

[horseman]

My mother has an house daycare. One day I was in the yard playing with the little kids. The wind was blowing hard. There are a lot of tall pine trees in my parents yard. A little boy looked up at the tall trees that were swaying in the wind, and said "the trees are making wind". I thought that was funny, yet somewhat...poetic.

[FaerieDreamer]

another instance of my words coming back to me.

We were playing ticklemonster in the living room the other night. Out of nowhere, my husband comes up and starts tickling me as I'm tickling Xavier. I jump up to move out of the way and slam my elbow into the corner of Xavier's train table. OUCH!!


Xavier looks at me and says "Mommy, that's why you shouldn't play tickle monster. You could get hurt!"

this kid!

[bear]

My 5 yo to my almost 10 yo: "Stop acting like a 2 year old!"
;l Wonder where he picked that up from.

[courey]

Spring has ushered in the black ants; we get a few every year. Garion has decided to make pets of them. :/ Today he was holding a dead one and brought it to Dave and said, "look! It's Fifi! She hurt herself!" ;l

[Autumn]

Ever since Christmas when my daughter sang a song opera style and made everyone laugh, she does it quite freqently. Earlier this week, she was singing a song opera style, and it had been going on for quite some time. I politely asked her to please stop singing because it was starting to give me a headache. "But MOM! I'm singing OPRAH!" she said.

;l;l;l

Go 'head, girl. Sing that Oprah!

[FaerieDreamer]

*pokes head in to tell a funny Xavier story*

We were driving to daycare yesterday when he started whining in the back seat

"Mommy, I have a headache"
You do? Where does it hurt?
"In my tummy"

hehehe silly kiddo. :)

[PandaWatch!]

Sean's eating his animal cookies and I hear the following:

Dad: "Hey, buddy, is that a bird?"

Sean: "No. It's a cookie."

[PandaWatch!]

Here's another one:

3 year old: "Remote, please."

Me: "No, honey, you can't play with this."

3 year old: "Why not? I said please."

[courey]

yesterday:

Kaiya: When I get older, I'm going to drive a car.
Me: Yep....

Today:

Kaiya: Am I older today?
Me: Yep.....
Kaiya: That means I can drive the car.



I don't remember being four and determined to drive. Are they really starting *everything* younger these days? ;l

[bear]

;l! Boy child just told me yesterday that he wanted to drive but Daddy wouldn't let him!

[stubacca]

My Mum tells this story ALL the time:

My twin and I were about one and in the pushchair/pram thingy at the supermarket and my mum was pushing us and my older sister was walking alongside, she would have been about 3. Some old lady stops to squee over me and my twin, then she turns to my other sis and says something along the lines of 'hello, what's your name?' and sis looks up at her and replies "bugger off".

[courey]

I was just making lunch, and Kaiya was telling me that she wanted her mustard in the shape of a "y" today. Well, I kind of am at the end of the bottle, and it doesn't make for great spelling, and it ended up looking a bit like a polka-dotted "x" instead. She got all upset and clicked her tongue and said, "Someone doesn't listen too well today."

Well excuuuuuse meee, your highness! ;l

[courey]

Kaiya: "Ring around the rosies, a pocka pocka posies, ah shit, ah shit, we all fall down!"

[Fray]

[shock]! I shouldn't laugh but I find that almost laugh out loud adorable!!

[courey]

I almost hurt myself trying not to laugh ;l

[bear]

;l!!! that is hysterical.

My son was being nutty and jumped on my daughter the other day and caused her to blurt out "Ow! Please don't jump on my developing breast!" At which point the husband and I started laughing and I asked her if she only had one that was developing and she said "well the other one is already big."

I'm glad we are open and can laugh about it because I was dying over that one.

[DaintyLilPeanut]

A friend of ours came over after Easter and my daughter runs up to him to show him her new pony that the bunny left her. She hands it over to him:

Him: Oh! Is this My Little Pony?
Her: No! It's my little pony!

And, she takes it back. ;l

[raspberry_swirl]

;l !

I can totally see that in my head!

[stubacca]

My son was being nutty and jumped on my daughter the other day and caused her to blurt out "Ow! Please don't jump on my developing breast!" At which point the husband and I started laughing and I asked her if she only had one that was developing and she said "well the other one is already big."

I'm glad we are open and can laugh about it because I was dying over that one.


That is amazing! ;l;l;l

[Just Pat]

A friend of Skye's, almost 3 asked his mom for *chicken pretenders* for dinner!

[courey]

Garion is convinced that frisbee is pronounced roast beef, and Iced Tea is called Ice Teef. What is with the eef additions? And I really could not figure out what the heck he was talking about this morning right after he'd finished breakfast and started begging me for the "roast beef." I kept saying "... it's not lunch time. what are you talking about???" finally he pointed at the frisbee and I caught on. yargh.

[limagre]

I was shopping with my almost 5 year old niece this weekend and I called her a stinker. She looked at me completely straightfaced and said "you're an ass."

she wasn't getting me back. she was genuinely calling me an ass. I was dying laughing.

[FaerieDreamer]

Not funny haha, but funny in a "ohmygodwheredidmybabygo?" way

On the way home from daycare the other day...

"Mommy, after preschool, can I go to high school?"

me: (thinking--wha? high school?) *faints* No Xav...first you have to go to Kindergarten.

[courey]

Walking across the bridge to feed the ducks, Garion with an entire loaf of bread clutched under his arm: "The ducks need a sandwich."

[courey]

My ex mother in law bought an mp3 player for Salem this weekend. I asked him to write down what he wanted me to put on it for him. He handed me the following:

Chamillionaire
Ozzy
Rob/White Zombie
ACDC
BB King
Sir Mix A Lot
Will Smith
MC Hammer
Nickleback
Lil John
Kayne West
U2
Tool
Metallica
Beastie Boys
Pearl Jam
Stone Temple Pilots
Red Hot Chili Peppers
The Crystal Method


Clearly the boy gets his musical tastes from an alien.

Oh, and he specifically wrote down that he wanted me to get the song "Hell's Bells". But his handwriting sucks so bad, Dave and I both thought he'd written "Hulk Balls." ;l

[half1113]

He's got a broad taste in music. I'm impressed most kids are stuck on one type of music at a time.

[curly11]

Hi I am only new here but wanted to add my bit to this funny discussion. My 4 yr old song, loves the movie Cars, and one of the characters yells out Holy Shoot. My son and I were walking into kindy last week when he yells out holy shoot, but it sounds exactly like Holy Shit, so all the parents turn around to stare, I just said to him sshhhhh lol. Had to explain to his kindy teacher if he says it, he is not saying shit but shoot. She roared with laughter, and he didn't say it at all during the day. Bless him

[curly11]

umm thats 4 yr old son, not my 4 yr old song lolololol

[Just Pat]

My daughter was trying to explain what a veil is and how brides sometimes wear them. Skye said, "If I get married, I think I'll wear a funny hat!"