So um, am I wrong to be annoyed by this?

[FaerieDreamer]

So I'm still babysitting my friend's kid Riley right? (only 2 more weeks finally!) There's been a lot of things I haven't liked about the kid. Those of you who read my lj may remember my rant about him a few months ago. Alas, I cannot post about him in my lj anymore because she reads it now as well.

Anyway. Two weeks ago, he came down with a bout Fifth's Disease. His parent's decided that it would be better if he stayed home for those couple of days with his grandma, rather than have him pass the virus to my son. I agreed, because Xavier was just getting over a cold and I didn't need him getting sick again.

Well today, his dad brought him over after his 12 month well baby appointment, and the first thing I see is a major rash all over Riley's face. His dad just nonchalantly said "oh yeah, his Fifth's disease came back yesterday." and then handed him over and was on his way like nothing.

hello? If he's got the rash, then he's freaking contagious, and now my kid will very probably get it as well. It's not like I can quarantine the kid to his playpen, that'd be abuse right? So he's crawling all over and sticking all the toys in his mouth as usual. And I'm running after him all day wiping things down and trying to make sure Xavier doesn't put any of the same toys in his mouth as well.

And he got into Xavier's kitchen cabinet, which holds all of our tupperware and was gumming on the lids and stuff in there, so I've got a mountain of toys and tupperware to wash now.

It just pissed me off, that they just brought him over without even letting me know he was sick, *again* or even ask if Xavier was sick, or if it was okay to bring him or anything.

I've put up with a lot from that kid and have held my tongue about a lot of his behaviors. Mainly because I know he's got a lot of health issues, so I don't say anything about his ruining toys and books w/ his puking. I've brought up a few things about his grabbing snacks and food from Xavier, and get no response other than "oh that's Riley!" I realize he's only a year old, but there are boundaries and lines that have to be established and been next to impossible to do that with this kid.

But I digress...I just wanted to talk about the Fifth's disease thing. Am I right in being annoyed at not being consulted first before they brought him? Should I say something tomorrow?



****For those who don't know, Fifth's Disease is like a really bad cold. It's a virus that manifests itself with high fevers (101+) that linger, hive like rashes on the cheeks, hands, and chest, and general lethargy. There's not much that can be done medically because it is a virus, it just needs to run it's course, basically. But it is contagious for kids. Most adults won't get it if exposed because we've built up an immunity, but infants and toddlers will probably get it if exposed.

[psyck]

i am not a parent but i would be annoyed by that. seems pretty rude and inconsiderate to me!

ask if he can stay with his grandma until he gets better. tell them you dont want your own son sick. i mean, they should have known better than to bring a sick baby over right?

[angeles]

Have you talked to the parents about not having the child over when he is sick and contagious? I would have handed the kid back to the dad and said, "you deal with it" because I don't want to see my child get sick, plain and simple. If the child was in a daycare, they would have sent the child home until he wasn't contagious anymore. Don't be afraid to stick up for yourself.

xo, angeles

[Clementine]

it makes me annoyed and i'm not even the one dealing with it!
there is nothing worse than inconsiderate parents with sick kids.
if it were me i would call up his parents and send him home with them.
no other child care service would care for a child with this illness, and neither should you. it's not only inconsiderate to you as their friend, but it's simply them not giving a rat's ass about xavier. that's wrong.
my "friend" gave ethan his first serious cough and cold by bringing her sick kid to my house for a visit. i'm still pissed off about it.

[FiercestCalm469]

You are absolutely right to be mad!!

I have the same problem when I go to my sister's house for family get-togethers. She invites all her husband's family and they come with a billion kids, half of who are sick and all of which are unsupervised. When my son was young he would come home from every one of her parties sick and I would be exhausted and mad. None of the parents seemed to care. I finally started making excuses and not going to the parties :(

[bear]

There is an element of exposure that is ok to some degree . Kids do need to be exposed to other kids. It is how they build immunity.

That said though, it is always important to ask the caretaker, etc. I NEVER assume my sitter is ok with illnesses. We had a converstaion about what she was comfortable with. She is not as strict as an actual daycare facility because in her opinion it isn't realistic to ask a parent to stay home just because of a runny nose. I always check first though. It is just common courtesy. Same with visiting friends. Ultimately they will be ok with me bringing my kid over but it is only fair to give them that choice. Kids are germy. :D

I would definitely address it if I were you. Even if you only have 2 more weeks because maybe they will realize the importance of it going forward.

[supernova]

They wouldn't take him at a daycare with a rash like that, and they shouldn't expect you to do it just because you're a friend. You have a child that could contract the disease, and they should know better than to assume you're fine with him getting sick too. The rule at my preschool is fever-free for at least 24 hours, no rashes, no throwing up. If you were taking care of him any longer, I'd say you should make them agree to those rules.

[FaerieDreamer]

Thanks everyone. I just wasn't sure if I was being annoyed because I don't like the kid much, or because it was rude. He's here again today. The rash has faded a lot, but it's still there. Doesn't seem to matter much though, since Xavier woke up with a runny, stuffy nose again. *sigh*

I do understand and accept that kids are germy and that exposure to some things is good for them to build up the immunity. But at least call me and let me get some things prepared. Like a group of toys for Riley to play with exclusively or whatever needed to be done. Not just dump him on me with no word at all. They wouldn't be able to do that at any other normal day care facility.

My husband and I talked about it last night as well. They are planning on taking him to a Montessori daycare a the first of the year. His dad was raving about it yesterday, but I so wanted to question if they'd discussed Riley's digestive issues with them at all. He literally vomits daily. At the very least he vomits 2-3 times a week when he's here with me. No day care is going to want to deal with that on a continuous basis. But that's for them to find out right?

[bear]

But at least call me and let me get some things prepared. Like a group of toys for Riley to play with exclusively or whatever needed to be done. Not just dump him on me with no word at all. They wouldn't be able to do that at any other normal day care facility.

I agree completely. I think unfortunately some parents take more advantage when they have their child in day care at a person's home. I know my sitter has had to talk to some of the parents because they were "just running some errands" after work instead of picking their kid up on TIME.

[Sheri]

I would absolutely be annoyed...

I would be annoyed if someone brought their kid into my house with a cold, nevermind Fifth's Disease...they should have at least told you first.

[Clementine]

I agree completely. I think unfortunately some parents take more advantage when they have their child in day care at a person's home. I know my sitter has had to talk to some of the parents because they were "just running some errands" after work instead of picking their kid up on TIME.

When I used to work in daycare centers, parents did that too.
my favorite was when a parent, a teacher, was late (after 6pm and the center was technically CLOSED) but she just had to go work out at Curves.
;l
It was actually shocking just how many parents wanted to spend as little time as possible with their kids. /end hijack

[FaerieDreamer]

oh I totally hear it on the being late thing. My friend is a teacher, and her husband now owns a bicycle shop (as of yesterday, before that he worked at a different shop). Her school day ends at 11am. But because she needs to stay on campus for office hours and to grade papers, etc, we agreed that she'd pick him up between 3 and 3:30. There have been many times that it's been closer to 4-4:30 that she's picked him up. Usually she'll call me if she's going to be late, but it's still frustrating because that then changes our afternoon routine.

Talked to her about Riley being sick this afternoon, and she was like "I don't know why he's getting sick so much." Then started saying that she'd been doing some reading, and because of his reflux and vomiting, that it causes more infections in his throat and nose (which makes sense) and that causes him to be sick more often. But at the same time, just having a runny nose is not the same as him having Fifth's disease. I can deal with a runny nose. It's the contagious stuff I don't want to have in my home.

[bear]

she just had to go work out at Curves.

"yes lady we can see your ass growing before our very eyes".

i mean come on!

But at the same time, just having a runny nose is not the same as him having Fifth's disease. I can deal with a runny nose. It's the contagious stuff I don't want to have in my home.

seriously!

*chants* 2 more weeks. 2 more weeks. ;)

[FaerieDreamer]

It's OVER! wheee!! (yes, I know, I'm evil)

His Mom picked him up this afternoon and I asked her "Do you want all his things today or is he coming tomorrow?" She was like, "Well, can you watch him tomorrow or do you have things to do?" So I replied "I do have a lot of things do get ready, baking and wrapping presents and such, since we're leaving early on Friday." "Oh.....well I guess he can come to the shop with us tomorrow then. I'll just take his stuff now."

Because we'd only agreed on 2 days this week because she's on vacation this week anyway and was just helping her husband clean up the new bike shop they just bought. So technically he didn't need to be here this week at all. And now he's not!

It's going to be rough on Xavier I'm sure. He loves his buddy Riley. But he'll adjust in time, and we've got the move coming up anyway so he's going to have lots of new adventures to get used to.

[Rose Bud]

My mom watches Nicholas, and I still let her know if he's got a runny nose, teething, ANYTHING, even if its minor. I just wouldn't feel right dropping him off and telling her "OH by the way, he's got *this and that or the other*, is that ok?". Makes me kind of glad Nicholas is with my husband this week, he has a molar coming in (ugh) and has been a major grump.