Five year old girl behavior

[Circusgirl]

Ok, so I posted a while ago about my daughter's behavior problems at daycare. I feel like she has also changed a lot with me too. Some people have told me that five year old girls go through almost a teenager attitude for a while. Are any of you familiar with this? I feel like I can't stand her right now. She argues about everything, is giving me so much lip about going to bed (which never used to happen), has major attitude and likes to say provoking things like "Mom, I like the dog more than you okay?" or "When I grow up, I will live here, but you will have to leave". Nice huh? She was so freakin sweet at four I guess this is my payback. Or I hope she is just going to give me the shit now and be good in school in the fall. She is starting Kindergarten and I am panicking. I decided not to continue her at daycare this summer(I have done 2 days a week in the past) because of her behavior there. I felt like it would only let her practice it more. Of course, I am the one suffering because I have no days to myself and I have been spoiled in the past. I did send her to day camp for two weeks(just 3 hours a day) and she did okay for the most part. I'm even letting her go to BIBLE camp because some of her friends are going and I need the break from her mouth. oy..thanks for listening..I'm burnt out.

[PotatoFace]

i think she is testing your boundaries.

at 5 their little worlds open up soo much and soo quickly. and so do their mouths!!!

but she is seeing what she can get away with, i would imagine. just be firm, and strong. and let her know that this isnt acceptable behavoir for her.

good luck though.

[St. Theresa]

I think it's completely typical. And she'll only go so far as you let her go. So in those provocative statements, don't let her have a good reaction. You should seem neither hurt nor angry nor amused. Best thing is not to respond at all, and just go on with what you're doing or talking about.

She wants to know how much of this world she owns and how much she gets to do. She's not too young to learn by daily example that she does get to own stuff and do stuff, but that there are strict rules which can ruin your fun times. Even when you need to discipline her, make sure it's done matter-of-factly. Try not to seem flustered or angry. And when things are good, reward her and reinforce the good feelings.

Of course, I'm talking "normal" child psychology. This would have worked on my daughter at 5...not my son. He didn't LIKE being told he was behaving well and doing great stuff. He HATED that. I'm not sure how much of that was because he preferred being defiant or how much of it had to do with the fact that he didn't think he could control his impulses as often as we'd like him to.

[monstersmom]

HMMMM, I didn't meet my daughter until she was almost 7, and my family has mostly boys, but I worked in daycare and it seems almost a given at that age to have a little attitude and to see what they can get away with. I think most of them outgrow it in a few years, so hang in there and make sure that you are consistant in whatever punishment that you dish out.

[mellissima]

^^same here.

My daughter is 7 and is just now starting to act like that. It's hard because I hate being mean to her but sometime she needs her own medicine.

[JulieS911]

Hiya,

When my oldest daughter was 5, she went through a stage of being really horrible too!! I think they are testing the boundaries, but also seem to know which buttons to push to get to you the most!!!

She went through a stage of swearing and slamming doors - both things I really hate and at first I did react, but then I realised that, that was what she wanted - so whenever possible I ignored it. Instead I tried to find something positive to say - even if it was only 'you had a lovely smile when you came in today'

I remember getting a postcard from a friend after I told her the trouble I was having with my daughter, she had a much older daughter, and the postcard just said......'sorry Julie - but as they grow up, they turn into even bigger cows!!!' AAHHHHH!!! not what I wanted to hear!

However my daughter is 13, and yes, she still knows which buttons to press to get to me, but on the whole we have a very open and lovely relationship - just keep going and don't get drawn into her agenda!!!

My children often went to camps etc. and having some space from them as well as letting them have a life away from you sometimes, is a good thing to do....you're doing a good job - just keep going xxxxx

[Circusgirl]

Thanks everyone...I guess it would be easier for me to just "keep going" if I didn't have anxiety myself. I'm going to see a psych the end of this week. What she did in daycare just keeps replaying over and over in my mind..it's almost like PTSD with me. I feel like she will never make it in Kindergarten, but all my friends think she will be fine. St. T...she ALSO has trouble accepting compliments...but I know other kids who are like that. I think she feels overly focused on being the only kid in this family and then having some problems, so I chalked it up to that. Instead of complimenting her like "wow, you did a nice job at that movie sitting"...I'll say "I had fun with you at the movies, Dee"..that seems to go better. I am just SO sick of being a parent right now.....SO tired of it.

[DuracellBunny]

It is not just girls, my son turned into a little Hitler at this age. He wanted every thing done his was and would say he did not love you or that you were not his friend etc if it was not. Luckely more time spent with him and positive reenforcement worked for us, but not for every child I know.