Hint, hint, wink wink

[toriwannabe]

I got married in November and I've just starting to get all the hints from 'well meaning' relatives and friends...

Two weeks ago my mother in law was holding her daughter's baby and said something like "so, you want one of these? I'll be an eager babysitter". *wink wink*.

Last weekend a cousin stayed with us. His parting gift? Two size 0 baby singlets. What the fug?

This is annoying on so many levels. They're assuming that the next logical step after marriage is children and that we actually WANT children. Not only that, what if we desperately wanted children and were unable to (eg. medical condition, too old)? Its none of their damned business.

What blatant hints have you ever got regarding this issue?

[Rinky vs.4.0]

He gave you baby clothes when you don't have or want a baby? God, that's so totally pathetic. I'd have asked if I could return them or donate them to someone who might actually be needing them.

I don't get hints from my immediate family - I doubt even if I was married I would. My immediate family is not in the least breederiffic or of the belief that one must pop out babies to be complete or whole. There are others in the more extended family who are and do, but I never see them, so their views are really of no consequence to me.

[Boomer #8]

lol. I remember at my Uncle's wedding two years ago...everybody from his wife side of the family started to 'hint', to make it short, within one year they asumed. Actually, not asumed, but merely stated that one year is enough time to start a family.

[Kari]

If anyone gave me baby clothes, I'd shove them up their ass.

kthxbi.

[Boomer #8]

I'd use it as a kitchen cloth.

[katz]

mine started before i got married. about right after i moved in matter of fact.


"so when are you and kevin going to start a family?" "er how about we get married first and have a place to keep one if we have one?" i compared it to having a very large rottweiler in a bachelor apartment.

after i got married it was the crazy countdown, every time i went back to visit my parents in michigan. the family and friends..."so are you pregnant? why not? when are you having a baby? you're the last grandchild on both sides of your family to have a baby! you've been married 6 months, that's plenty of time to get pregnant!"

now that i am? the first thing out of people's mouths wasn't a "congrats" of some sorts, it was "about fucking time".[bang]

[by the woods]

I get questions and not even subtle hints from people all the time. With some people I've run out of snarky comments like "we didn't need the tax write off this year" so now I just tell them that I'm unable to have children and I'd appreciate the discussion be closed because it's painful to talk about. Shuts em up and I never hear it from them again. ;)

[empresskara]

It started soon after we got married from his side of the family. His grandma who is now mercifully dying (she is an evil evil bitch, don't judge me!) has stated numerous times to me, that we better have one "before someone dies" meaning his father. Brad's mom has been on our ass about it from about the minute we started dating. We ignore her though, she's used to talking and no one answering her.

From my side of the family, we mostly only get it from my birth mom. I tell her that she has to quit smoking first. That shuts her up. My grandma has said something once and was very quickly chastized by a cousin-x-times-removed (thank you Clarice) who doesn't have any idea whether we actually want any or not, she's just very cool, and Grandma hasn't said anything since, but I haven't seen her since either.

[on the vine]

yes. yes. people suck so hard.

first it was the whole "where are going getting married" thing. now that we are getting married in october, it's the whole "when are you having kids? /i bet you can't wait to start a family" thing.

mind. your. own.fucking.business.

[iciclespark]

While granted I do not have the engagement ring yet (we actually have a reason for that having to do with our wedding plans), we have a date set, but I haven't told any of the family, because I don't want to give them an extra two years of asking. My dad's side will be especially awful. My mother's side is more intelligent and rational, and have been "prepped". When I came out as bisexual, and was dating a woman at the time, my grandmother and I were talking and she said when she first heard, she got a bit upset because "we'd never see you marry, or have children... but then we realized that those are OUR dreams, projected onto you, and you have every right to live your life as you want, and we love you regardless."

To which I said (very true at the time) "I'm not interested in having kids anyway, and I don't see myself as the marrying type either, so nothing's changed except my widened dating field."

They'll accept it, but they won't be dancing with joy. My mother seems to have accepted it, with her comments of, "The family heirloom gets passed to a family member if you don't have kids." (We have a ring that passes from first-born child to first-born, which I received when I turned 21).

My stepmother.... UGH. Last time I visited my dad's, we went out for dinner with my old babysitter and her husband and they brought their baby. She was pretty well-behaved, very happy, so I didn't mind, but my stepmother was just gushing non-stop, and kept looking at me and saying, "Oh my god! Isn't she soooo cute?" And I'm like, "Yes, that's nice, a baby. Never seen that before. Now where's my fucking hummus?" Ick. She's going to bingo me hardcore, I just know it.

(I was also irked that her ears were pierced already, but that's a whole other flame thread ;) ).

[*Yvaine*]

My mother-in-law actually had the guts to say to me, at the dinner table on my husband of only one year's birthday, that since I would be turning 27 this year that I was getting way to old to have a child so I had better get pregnant right now!! HELLO!!!! Since when is 27 to old to have a child!?!?!

She can kiss my biological clocks ass!!!

[BornToShop]

I can understand your problem torriwannabe.But whats worse is having pregnant girlfriends trying to push you.With their body going into warp 12 because of the baby.They think every women should be preggers.LOL

[iciclespark]

So glad none of my friends are spawning. I think they really just want someone else to suffer with them.

[The March Hare]

Our current roommate has spawned. I take care of the kid for a fee. It's one of those things that has made me realize how much I love not having a brat of my own to worry about.

My mum was pushing for grandkids when Jeff and I started dating. I'm thinking of getting her a puppy to help her out. :P

Usually, people ask why I don't want kids. Instead of expounding in a long lecture, I go find my cat Dorian and say, "I already have a baby, see?" Good times, using your cat as an excuse!

[iciclespark]

I tell people my cats are far more satisfying than having children - they came home toilet trained, they care for themselves when I leave for the afternoon and they understand the word No. Not many children can claim that. ;) Plus, their love is unconditional; my cats do not love me more or less because I do not buy them new "mousies" at PetSmart each week. They do not throw tantrums. They do not tell me they hate me. As long as they have food, shelter and get a ear scratch each day, they're quite content.

[nirak]

While granted I do not have the engagement ring yet (we actually have a reason for that having to do with our wedding plans), we have a date set, but I haven't told any of the family, because I don't want to give them an extra two years of asking. My dad's side will be especially awful. My mother's side is more intelligent and rational, and have been "prepped". When I came out as bisexual, and was dating a woman at the time, my grandmother and I were talking and she said when she first heard, she got a bit upset because "we'd never see you marry, or have children... but then we realized that those are OUR dreams, projected onto you, and you have every right to live your life as you want, and we love you regardless."

That's really, really. cool. My grandma is very open like that as well (I never actually "came out" as bisexual to her, but she figured it out, and told me that "love is love and we can't choose who we love"), and it helps a lot to have at least one member of my extended family that I can talk to about stuff.

[RedHead]

My unmarried sister in law bugs me about hvaing kids all the time because she wants to be an aunt. SO i tell her that I'l have a baby when she gets married. That shuts her up pretty fast. Recently a friend of mine asked when I was going to have kids, so I said, "when you propose to Katie" (his girlfriend of 3 years who he lives with and is dying to get engaged) in front of katie! hehe.