Myths about the CF Lifestyle

[jeth]

Besides being bingo'd left and right about why we don't have children, I'm sure many of us have been told by people who think they know everything what our own motivations are for being CF.

What have people accused you of when trying to understand why you are childfree?

You hate children.
No, I don't hate kids. If I hated them I wouldn't volunteer with them.

You hate people who choose to be parents.
Not true. I have a lot of parents who are friends of mine, online and off. I enjoy watching their children grow up. I just don't choose to have any of my own.

You are childfree because using your money for material goods, travel, etc. is more important to you than having a kid.
While being able to keep every red cent that I bring home for myself is a bonus, that's not all I do with my money. I donate to charity. I surprise people with gifts when they need to be cheered up. I would not hesitate to help out a friend if they needed it. Yes, some of my extra income might be used to travel now and then, but I know plenty of parents who squirrel away extra money to do the same thing with their families. It's about priorities. We all have them. Since I choose to be childfree I do have the bonus of being able to keep more of the money I make for myself, but I still do good things with that money.

You judge parents by the way they raise their kids when you have no personal basis for comparison.
Do I sometimes judge a parent for making a bad decision? Absolutely. But don't think I don't have a basis for comparison - I had parents who raised me and I saw how they did it. We turned out a-okay. So yeah, when I hear about a parent who let their child climb over a safety barrier only to get bit by a meerkat at the zoo or a parent who gets their children taken away from them because their drugs are more important than their kids, yes, I judge them for making a bad mistake.

You would be a bad mom. That's why you don't want kids.
To be honest I think I'd be an okay mom. I just don't want to be one. It's that simple.

You feel that children should be banned from public places so as not to inconvenience you.
Not true. I have no issues with children being in public, in stores, in restaurants, etc. so long as they are well-behaved and respectful. And if they get out of line I expect their parents or caretakers to step in and straighten them out. I do get annoyed when I see children behaving badly and parents just ignoring it instead of disciplining their kids. I think there are a lot of parents out there who don't know how to control their kids so they've just sort of given up on it and they expect everyone else to do it for them. That's what gets me ticked off. My parents would have NEVER let us get away with bad behavior in public - more than once we abandoned a shopping cart in the middle of the store, got hauled out to the car, and were told in no uncertain terms that if we couldn't get our acts together we would be going home immediately. Trust me, that's all it took to get us to behave.

I do, however, question the judgement of parents who take very young children (even newborns) to places that aren't really appropriate for them, like R rated movies or loud rock concerts. If you really wanted to go out that badly hire a babysitter. It isn't worth giving your kid nightmares/blowing their eardrums out as you sit next to the speakers so you can have a night out.

You believe the government should regulate who can be a parent.
While it would be incredibly difficult to institute, I would like to see mandatory parenting classes/counseling for pregnant women and their partners/spouses as well as mandatory risk assessment. Clearly there is a problem in this country when so many kids end up in foster homes, kids end up in long-term counseling because their parents aren't raising them properly and they develop behavioral issues, babies are still being thrown in dumpsters despite the laws saying you can drop them off at a safe haven, and children are dying at the hands of abusive parents. I think early intervention and education could prevent a lot of that. I would like to see the risk assessment so that children could have the best start possible, and counseling to help teach parenting skills. I've seen so many first time parents struggle with what they are supposed to do and question every little decision they make because they rarely have any clear and concise guidance to help them along the way. Some have their own parents to turn to, but not everyone has that support system. I think counseling before birth about what to expect, how to handle certain situations, and things of that nature would be a good thing. Granted that gets into the whole "OMG the government can't tell me how to raise my kids!" territory, but if it were feasible I would love to see it instituted.

That doesn't mean I think that certain people should be sterilized or forbidden to have children (though believe me, I've heard that accusation before). It just means that I think that if you're going to have a kid you should have enough education and resources at your disposal to do the job right. Since not everyone has the same level of support surrounding them when they get to the delivery room I would like to see the government make more of an effort to reach out to first-time parents and clue them in to what to expect in the months and years ahead.

Anyway, there's the start of my list. I'd like to hear everyone else's.

[SisterErnestine]

I don't want to be mommy for this reason:


IT WOULD FUCKING HURT!!!!!!!!!




I am highly suspicious of doctors and hospitals. I do not trust them. at all.

Especially where I live.



peace,love, and anarchy
SisterE

[Rizzabella]

I think what's probably funniest about the fact that I don't want children is the fact that under most circumstances I LOVE kids, actually. I'll complain about awful parenting but that's not the same as hating kids. :) I've had several jobs in the past that required either overseeing children or teaching to some extent and those have all been enjoyable jobs. If I could do anything in the world once I'm finished with grad school I'd like to go back to teaching piano & theater to grade school girls.

When any of my friends/family have children I'm always pleased to hear about it, especially because I know most people in my family would make exceptional parents. My reason for not wanting to become a parent isn't because I feel the world has too many children already so I certainly don't begrudge anyone having children of their own.

Anyone is judgmental when it comes to parenting. My own mother, who has 2 other children besides me, does this as well. Not once has she responded to me with something like "when you have children, you'll understand" because she knows that because of my experience with kids, I DO understand. I've helped her to take care of my younger brother, who is autistic, since I was fairly young myself and helping take care of a guy like that pretty much preps you for handling children in any situation. I've also dealt with children who have been abused horribly; so I get a kick out of people telling me that I don't understand the rigors of parenting. Trust me, I do. I've worked with kids who had a million more problems than any normal kid and was able to do so with relatively few problems. People who accuse me of not being understanding should attempt to restrain a very violent, disturbed molestation victim during a fit. It's not a simple job and for a time I did that on an almost daily basis.

I probably wouldn't be an amazing mom, but if I had a child I'd make damn sure I did my best.

Anyway, when did the eugenics debate become tied in with the personal choice not to have children? That's so odd. I don't recall having talked to a lot of "childfree" type people who would even consider subscribing to that idea. Eugenics contradicts one of the ideas that I hold most sacred, and that's women's choice.

[jeth]

Beats me how Eugenics got involved. My personal choice is just that - my personal choice. But there are a handful of people out there who hear the word childfree and bristle because they seem to think that becuase we chose what to do with our own wombs that we want to decided what they do with theirs as well. I've been accused of wanting to pick and choose who can and cannot have children. It's hilarious considering it's the opposite of what really goes on in the CF vs. Parent arena - more often parents are the ones making choices about their wombs (that they are allowed to follow through with) and we're the ones who are fighting tooth and nail to have our choices recognized (i.e. try finding a doctor who will sterilize you before 30 or perform a necessary medical procedure on you that would risk your fertility, even though you've clearly stated that you don't want kids ever).

Still, since I was rattling off myths and misconceptions that people have accused me of I thought I'd throw that one in. And truthfully my desire to see mandatory counseling comes from working with children in a mental health setting and seeing the horrible things they'd gone through. I have also had to restrain a child who was having a violent fit. It's not funny, and 95% of the kids we worked with had problems that could be tied directly to the way they were parented (or, rather, the lack of parenting skills in the household). So I did get to thinking to myself "Why not put more resources out there so people have guidance on how to do the job?" I think it would result in a lot fewer kids whose childhoods have been ruined and their futures left uncertain because mom and/or dad didn't know how to properly raise them/treat them right/feed-clothe-shelter them.

[spydergrrl]

Fantastic post idaho! As someone who doesn't want children I've heard every issue you've raised thrown at me time and time again. Not only am I apparently selfish for not wanting to bring children in to an environment where they are not truly wanted, but as I don't have children am apparently also completely unfit to comment on basic parenting principles.

Although, in all fairness, I don't think it's just the childless who are targeted. I have a good friend who has a 10 year old son and she's done a great job of raising him to be polite, intelligent and with a good sense of humour. Whenever she comments on other parents she gets told that she only has one child so what would she know, or that she clearly 'got lucky' and ended up with a good child by chance.

I've been torn to shreds in other forums for daring to comment on issues related to parenting or children when I don't have children of my own, so it's refreshing to see that I'm not alone!

[jeth]

Well around here (outside of this forum) you still can't really comment on someone's parenting without getting it thrown back in your face that you aren't a parent (and in fact, you can't even complain about rude people in line if your story involves a child because you aren't a parent), but if anyone gives you guff just let it roll off your back.

I'm sorry to hear your friend gets such a crap time about it. Maybe next time someone tells her she got a 'good child' by chance she should say "No, I just decided to only have one so I could spend more time teaching him right from wrong, blah blah blah. Compared to your two/three kids, I see it worked!" That'll shut them up real quick.

:p

[Kari]

Another myth:

We have Lush Bonanzas and eat crumpets all day while driving our Benzes and eating at fancy restaurants.

FALSE!!!

[jeth]

^ Indeed. I've never eaten a crumpet, I've never ridden in a Benz let alone owned one, and the fanciest restaurant I've ever eaten at would be a locally owned place where entrees are still under $15 a plate.

I thought of another one:
You want me to murder my unborn baby! *shakes anti-abortion literature in face*
When I was much younger a friend of mine got pregnant. I felt she was too young and irresponsible to be a good mother, but it was her choice to proceed with the pregnancy and that was fine.

One day I went to her apartment and she attacked me at the front door. The anti-abortion truck had been in town that day and she'd picked up packets of pictures of aborted fetuses. She shoved them in my face when I walked in the door and screamed "You want me to abort my baby! You're going to hell!"

Now wait a second. How did we get from "You're a bit young and irresponsible and I question if you're ready to be a parent but it's your choice" to "I want you to abort your baby?" I never did figure out the parallel. After that she became a bit psychotic and I ended up severing ties with her, though the previous eight years of our relationship played a large part in that severing. Still, she told everyone that it was because she was having a baby that I dropped her. No, it was because she was a drama queen, a control freak, a psycho bitch, and the abortion literature attack coupled with some crap she tried to pull at work was the last straw for me. It was years of crap building up that ended our friendship.

Still, there are a handful of people out there who believe that I am so anti-baby that I will drop a friendship with anyone who gets pregnant and fails to abort because of the crap this girl said about me after I stopped visiting her/calling her up/inviting her out.

[ebby]

oh please, all ChildFree are actually prudes and don't want to actually have to have sex and end up with children. All they want to do is pray to Jesus and convert them homosexuals to live a holy life.

[frangipanigrrl]

I've experienced most of these myths myself too. Sheesh.

The "don't like kids" one is a pretty common one my partner and I get--no matter how many times we say and show we like kids to people, it seems to be a prevailing belief that we don't like kids. WTF? We continually specify that we really like kids, but don't want our own kids. Apparently this is an incredibly difficult concept for others to grasp.

What's most frustrating about it is that I think it should be obvious we like kids. I work with kids. This is my choice--to surround myself with some of the most abused, neglected and damaged kids imaginable. If I had a hate-on for kids, why the fuck would I choose to do this?

My partner doesn't work with kids but is now looking into becoming an elementary school teacher--where he would have less income and less status than the job he has now. Last week a friend of mine (who is a mother AND a teacher) sort of balked at this aspiration of his, stating "It surprises me he wants to be a teacher because he doesn't like kids". [pan]

Funny thing is we had our annual street party yesterday and there were only 3 households including ours there who do not have kids (and one of the households is a retired couple with grown kids, so they don't really count). Yet, who was playing baseball in the street with the little boys? My guy. Who was helping a 2 year-old eat his hot dog all during dinner instead of sitting with adults and drinking beer? My guy...who is known for not liking kids.

Myths suck. But they're damn impossible to dismantle.

[Kari]

^ Indeed. I've never eaten a crumpet, I've never ridden in a Benz let alone owned one, and the fanciest restaurant I've ever eaten at would be a locally owned place where entrees are still under $15 a plate.


I've never eaten a crumpet either, nor do I own/ride in a Benz, but I plead guilty to fancy restaurants :D. Although, we go to something fancy maybe 3-4 times a year and its usually for anniversary/birthday. And we get maybe one vacay a year.

OH another myth:

We don't know what real love is because we don't have children and we'll die unfulfilled and alone.

False again. I experience "real love" in my own way and I don't need a kid to do that. Also, I lead a very fulfilling life and plan to surround myself with friends so I'll have a support network into my elder years.

[jeth]

Ah, that one made me laugh. To expand on it, I'm going to add:

Since you don't want kids you're going to end up a crazy cat lady spinster whose house smells like hairballs and when you die your cats will eat you before anybody finds you.

First off, why does everyone assume that because you choose to have a cat that you must be one of those ladies who eventually takes in 35 of them and can barely feed them or give them the care they need? Please. We are far more responsible than that.

Secondly, pets are not replacements for children. For starters, pets don't talk back, slam doors, or throw hissy fits. They are just happy if you feed them, water them, walk them, play with them, keep them healthy and love them. Low maintenance and I don't have to give birth to it? That's more my style.

[half1113]

I'm reproducing and I don't like kids, well 90% of kids. I do judge people based on their kids behavior and parenting skills. I believe hellions and their parents should be banned from public places. NO ONE wants to deal with a misbehaving brat and a lazy parent.

[ebby]

Since you don't want kids you're going to end up a crazy cat lady spinster whose house smells like hairballs and when you die your cats will eat you before anybody finds you.

actually I got this one today - we were talking about gay marriage/partnerships and I was asked would I get married if something like that was legal in Ireland. Of course I said yes. The subsequent question was "would you have kids or adopt or whatever" to which I replied "probably not to be honest". The next statement was something along the lines of "I could totally see you all married with lots of cats..."

It was said kinda tongue in cheek - but how is that an automatic follow-on to saying one will probably not have kids? I mean, do you ever hear:

- So, do you think you'll get cats when you're married?
- actually, probably not.
- oh, so you're gonna have lots of kids then?


bless. I'm just thankful I'm not a woman and just expected to reproduce.

[Rinky vs.4.0]

The biggest myth about CF people is that we are all the same person with the same ideas, the same lifestyle and the same goals in life.

I have travelled a good deal in my life and will, hopefully continue to do so. I have had times when I've had lots of money (all earned by the sweat of my brow, thanks) to throw around, and at other times, not much at all. I enjoy my free time and the freedom of choice to fly off somewhere on a whim or accept a job offer abroad that having no ties affords me. I donate to charities that interest me.

I personally find the idea of pregnancy revolting, and birth even more so. Always have, always will. I'm not interested in anyone's pregnancy updates - scan photos induce an 'Uh.' response in me and pregnant belly photos do as much for me as BBW porn (ie not much). Therefore, when I'm assailed with such photos at work, I will be inclined to show either no interest or iof the point is pushed, make offensive gagging noises.

I like some children and enjoy playing with them, but have no time for others whatsoever, depending on their personalities and behaviour. I despise feral, unparented children. It's not their fault they are as they are but tough shit. Nobody likes the destructive, noisy, often semi-criminal little buggers.

I don't have a problem with all parents - far from it. I DO have a problem with the attitudes of gross entitlement and importance that SOME parents or wannabe parents display. I roll my eyes at women who have no real interests or identity of their own outside of being a mother. I think it's sad and unhealthy. I utterly and frankly despise any parent who patronises me with bingos or idiotic platitudes about my or anyone else's not wanting children.

I loathe the way kids are used as emotional crowbars in arguments on subjects such as censorship. I have major problems with the idea that children are the most important creatures in society - in an egalitarian, democratic society we are all equally important - young and old alike.

I hate the constant pandering to the 'family vote' that most politicians indulge in these days.

I dislike the cultural idea that unchilded people are somehow lesser contributers or more 'selfish' than any random person who has pumped out a baby.

OH, and most importantly, I would like to stab in the uterus any of the parade of smug, idiotic cunts who profess the view that you're not a 'real woman' unless you have kids. What utter misogynist, sexist, fatuous nonsense that is.You don't hear anyone telling men they're not a 'real man' until they've knocked up a few women, do you? As far as I'm concerned that point of view is steeped in backward thinking that frames women's abilities in terms purely of our ability to whelp for the nation. Hell, who needs jobs and independence and education when our 'real power' lies between our legs? It's fascist, it's revolting, and when I see fucking self-proclaimed feminists coming out with it as I have lately in various media organs, I feel the need to set fire to things.

Not all CF share my views or my preferences or dislikes. I don't expect them to.

OH and for the record, I don't use LUSH products. However, I just spent £40 on BPAL in the last week. This CF-er smells good.

[Rizzabella]

Another myth:

We have Lush Bonanzas and eat crumpets all day while driving our Benzes and eating at fancy restaurants.

FALSE!!!
I fucking wish. I can't afford a car and have to share an apt because I'm poor. I am racking up over $60,000 in student loans though- I guess that means I'm living expensively, right?

[SMMY]

I will not hijack this thread into a BPAL thread!
I will not hijack this thread into a BPAL thread!
I will not hijack this thread into a BPAL thread!

Okay, I decided not to have children in my early twenties. I was perfectly fertile, just decided I would rather have a college education than children. I didn't want to be a parent, period. I also gave up a lot of time and money to finish my education and get my degree.

So now I'm at a point in my life when I am not rich, but can afford a few luxuries that were postphoned during our college years and even get to share them with others. So if this makes me selfish and self-centered by non-child free persons standards, I think I can live with it. I work very hard every day to earn my income and do with it as I please. If other's didn't make that choice, then why is that my problem?

Sorry, I just don't think that we should even have to bother defending our choices with arguments to demonstrate that we are good people. I would imagine a lot of people here donate more money/free time to charities, not because we are "better" people, but because without children, we have more free time to do so.

[Rinky vs.4.0]

This CF mod approves BPAL hijacks. Just sayin'

And I agree, we don't have to justify our lives and choices to people. I always find it interesting that a lot of people seem to think there must a complex reason why I don't want children. There isn't. Never has been. I can rationalise it but in the final analysis I am just not interested in having kids and never have been. I knew this when I was five and I know it at 36. It's part of my make-up - a gut-level thing. Parenthood has never been an interest or a goal of mine.

[SMMY]

I know what you mean. I felt for the longest time like some sort of genetic freak, because my biological clock never went off. I don't hate children, just don't have any desire to have any myself. I always found the idea of getting an education far more exciting than shopping for baby clothes.

It is so nice to have a place where other like-minded individuals can share their feelings about this choice, since it is not commonly accepted in most societies. I really stopped having to defend my child free state when I finally reached my forties. Well-meaning friends finally gave up on prodding us, I think. I just hate to see another generation having to go through the constant, insidious "why don't you want children" thing.

For me, my life has been as rich as I could imagine. I don't think having children would have made it any better, just different. I honestly can't imagine having children, as I never saw myself as a mother. I do love mentoring others, especially young ladies who are in my field, as I think it does help to have someone show you the ropes, so to speak, before you choose a career. Any "maternal urges" are more than satisfied by doing that and trying to be a decent human being...well sometimes.




start of hijack:
I ordered a four of the Carnaval BPAL scents and some 10 ml General Cat. bottles as well before they went bye-bye. I'll give you a shout out when they come in, if you are interested, Rinky.
end of hijack.

[Rinky vs.4.0]

start of hijack:
I ordered a four of the Carnaval BPAL scents and some 10 ml General Cat. bottles as well before they went bye-bye. I'll give you a shout out when they come in, if you are interested, Rinky.
end of hijack.

I ordered Carnaval Diabolique, Gennivre, L'Artiste de Carnavale, a 5ml of Hetairae, and an imp of 'O'.

I also managed to score a lab-fresh bottle of Gypsy Queen off someone on sinandsalvation for all of $17. Got it the other day and I'm really happy as I was so bummed I had missed out on ordering it last time.

I also did a swap with someone this week and scored an imp od Delphi and one of Bordello. Delphi is just fascinating, and Bordello reminds me of a boozy Carnivale.

/hijack response

[Rizzabella]

And I agree, we don't have to justify our lives and choices to people. I always find it interesting that a lot of people seem to think there must a complex reason why I don't want children. There isn't. Never has been. I can rationalise it but in the final analysis I am just not interested in having kids and never have been. I knew this when I was five and I know it at 36. It's part of my make-up - a gut-level thing. Parenthood has never been an interest or a goal of mine.
...and it's frustrating when people want me to explain my motivation for feeling that way in detail because my immediate thought is "I don't ask you to justify your reasons for WANTING kids!" Just because it's more "natural" to have kids doesn't mean you get to rag on me.

My boyfriend just flat out does not want kids ever and that's non-negotiable. When you ask him why he just says "I don't want kids. Period." No long rationalizations from him, no nothing. Of course, he doesn't give a fuck what anyone thinks of him and doesn't care if he's Mr. Popular with his family. I like that, actually. I think a lot of times my fear of being really disliked among friends/family (I don't care what strangers think) still causes me to come up with a lot of "excuses" for the reasons why I feel the way I do about things. I should take a page out of his book more often.

[jeth]

Not all CF share my views or my preferences or dislikes. I don't expect them to.

You mean that we, as a group, don't share a hive mind?

Damn. That's another stereotype gone right out the window.

:p

[The March Hare]

You mean, we're not Borg?! There will be no assimilation?!

I do not understand what the problem is with desiring to continue and finish your education instead of dropping out a kid from your cunt. People have often told me that when I am done with my studies, I will be too old to pop out a kid. Even if I wanted to, does this mean I must sacrifice my education for society's demands for me to have a child? Fuck no.

Excuse me while I eat crumpets and bathe in Lush bathbombs.

[SisterErnestine]

Who has actually had a crumpet?




I never have....and I did go to London.


hmm.



peace,love, and anarchy
SisterE

[Amy!]

I have crumpets on Christmas morning. Where I am showered with Lush-ious gifts and reminded how nice it would be if we had kids to share the day with. To which i say bah humbug, more for me.
:e

[Rinky vs.4.0]

I prefer croissants to crumpets.

[jeth]

Mmm, croissants.

[Rinky vs.4.0]

Me and my elitist foreign tastes, eh?

[jeth]

Your tasty elitist, foreign tastes!

[luvslive]

I am SO glad I came across this part of the forums when I did. As a newly married 24 year old piano teacher I am pretty much surrounded by families. My husband and I also just purchased a home, and have been told that there is room for a "family" now. My bridal shower involved some baby talk which made me uncomfortable. Aunts saying "we want babies". The talk was not being done by those who know me best, though. The people who really know me don't bingo me, thank goodness. I also have a small family of kitties now, but have used that to my advantage. It is kind of nice when people are talking about their kids latest escapades to chime in with a cute cat story. And I would rather have people thinking of me as a "cat person" than a "kid hater".

[iciclespark]

Who has actually had a crumpet?



I have. British grandparents and mother. I actually adore them. Mmmm....

But otherwise, none of the stereotypes apply to me thanks.

[Kari]

I had a chocolate croissant this morning, went to yoga, took a nap, and then got Indian food. And then I am probably going to get sex. MY CF LIFE RULES!!!

I actually explained this all to my husband tonight and he was hysterical. He was like "Parents can't eat Indian food! We're so greedy!!!!!!!!"

[katz]

^ we can't!??!?!???!!!!111


-bes sad-

[Kari]

kjkdsjfkjdsafa

*passes Katz a samosa*

[katz]

Indian food is something I'm looking forward to once this kid claws his way out! I haven't been able to tolerate the spice since May :(

[iciclespark]

That's terrible! No butter chicken? No naan? No masala?

*weeps for you*

[jeth]

I've never had Indian food.

/random, sad confession

[half1113]

I love croissants. I've never had Indian food because I can't handle spicy food. I never had the biological clock ticking. We never knew if we did or didn't want crotch droppings but a drunken night of no condoms decided for us. I still plan to continue to educate myself and I refuse to turn into a brainless mommy monster. If I do you CFers have every right to slap me. I also refuse to raise a brat that is a product of my lazy parenting. (I was a brat magnet at the grocery store today. I glared lots.)

I feel more comfortable with you CFers then most parents.

[jeth]

If I slapped you while you were in a pre-pregnant state, would that be pre-conceived child abuse?

Everyone stop saying croissants, Becuase I want one, but I have none here, and this makes me sad.

[half1113]

^I don't know. I'll have to ponder that.

[katz]

i've just sworn off most Indian food, as it makes me sad right now -lol- and i'm with half113... my biggest fear about being a mother.. isn't

- will my boobs work?
- can i keep this thing alive?
- OMG BIRTH

it's becoming a mindless obsessed creature over my child who is one of those parents who lets their little ray of sunshine destroy the world around them. i fully expect to be in love with this kiddo once he's born and i'm sure i'll love every second, even the miserable ones.. but lord have mercy on me if i become one of them

[Rizzabella]

I had a chocolate croissant this morning, went to yoga, took a nap, and then got Indian food. And then I am probably going to get sex. MY CF LIFE RULES!!!

I actually explained this all to my husband tonight and he was hysterical. He was like "Parents can't eat Indian food! We're so greedy!!!!!!!!"
Nutella crepes are far superior to chocolate croissants.

http://www.genkicrepes.com/

I could live there....

I also made a couple of "greedy" jokes at my boyfriend's expense too. ;)

katz, your post reminded me- I've been around people who were talking about the fact that they weren't eager to have kids and other people scoffed and said something about the fact that they were wimps who just didn't want to deal with childbirth. Hilarious! Yep, that's the ONLY thing keeping me from having an SUV full of kids.

[Binka+Bonka+Chair]

First: yes, SamuraiCat, nutella crepes are sooooo very wonderful. :O I had my first one last Friday and it was so yummy.

Second: although I love my neices and nephews dearly, and would do just about anything for them, I simply have no desire to have kiddles of my own. I never have. I've known some girls who knew they wanted to be Moms when they were little. I never was one of them. I figured if that opinion changed over time, so be it, but alas it hasn't.

Third: I think there are too many people in the world as it is and not enough love for the kids that are already here. Why contribute to the #? If I ever change my mind about kids, it's going to be to adopt a black or latino child here in the states.

[Kari]

Nutella crepes are far superior to chocolate croissants.

.

I LOVE nutella crepes. LOVE. They have them at all the Greek cafes in my neighborhood. They just dont seem like breakfast food to me.

[Fox in Socks]

I've never had Indian food.

/random, sad confession[shock]!!!!!!!!! whaaa? huh? and you were in london!?!!??!!?!?! *cries*

[Mordecai]

I hate croissants.

[jeth]

[shock]!!!!!!!!! whaaa? huh? and you were in london!?!!??!!?!?! *cries*

I know, I know. I wouldn't have known what to order anyway. I can't do new kinds of food unless someone is there to guide me, especially since my list of things I will not eat is so extensive and I don't like surprises.

Next time though, I promise, I will find someone who likes Indian food and force them to take me and guide me through the ordering process.

I think the most exotic thing I ate over there was the fried ham that they call 'bacon.'

[jeth]

I hate croissants.

You are dead to me.

[Kari]

How can anyone hate croissants??? And you call yourself French! ;)

Anyways, I had a very relaxing CF day today of taking a Lush bath and then discussing astrophysics with....oh wait. That wasn't today. Today I worked overtime and made a spreadsheet. There were no crumpets involved. :(!

I figured out another myth:

CF women are secretly lesbians.

Yup, you heard me right. I overheard a conversation on the train where a woman said "Oh my sister doesn't want kids", and her friend was like "Is she gay?". So, no. CF gals are not seekritly lesbians just because some of us like the penis without the power of teh sperms. Sorry!

[jeth]

^ Having a short haircut also makes you a lesbian! It's true! Ask the really scuzzy guy who once knocked on my door at an extremely inappropriate hour to introduce himself and then ask if I would let him in. When I refused because a) he was scuzzy, b) stranger danger! and c) who the fuck would let a scuzzy stranger in their door late at night? he eyed my haircut and declared I was a lesbian and then left.

I double bolted my door that night and stored a knife near the bookcase in case he ever came back.

[Kari]

OMG. Wow. I would have slept with one eye open!

[jeth]

I actually left the porch light on, made sure my landlords (who lived next door) were aware of the incident, and then I made sure that I pushed my bed over to the outer wall so I could hear if anyone tried to come up the staircase during the night.

He got arrested a few nights later after busting into some lady's house and refusing to leave until she gave him money. Even after that I still kept a knife in the bookcase, just in case.

[Mordecai]

You are dead to me.

:D

How can anyone hate croissants??? And you call yourself French! ;)

South of France, thank ya. It's hard to find a good croissant. They're usually made way too heavy. Anyway, I prefer savory foods.

socca (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Socca) > croissant

...um, just like a typical, decadent CFer, eh? yeah. Socca everywhere, all the time! Wait, am I even a CFer? Am I French? What time is it?

[Kari]

South of France, thank ya. It's hard to find a good croissant. They're usually made way too heavy. Anyway, I prefer savory foods.

...um, just like a typical, decadent CFer, eh? yeah. Socca everywhere, all the time! Wait, am I even a CFer? Am I French? What time is it?

You gotta come to my Italian bakery in Ass-toria. Best damn croissants I've ever had, and not a bit heavy. Not even the chocolate ones!

[jeth]

Or you can go to Texas. You cannot find a croissant that isn't glazed. You cannot find any foodstuff that isn't glazed, actually.

Anyway, they sound absolutely disgusting, but they are really quite edible. And fluffy!

[Mordecai]

^^Yeah? I do love Asstoria.

^Glazed with what? And hey, at least they're not trying to impress anyone. You've gotta respect that. :D

[Fox in Socks]

im sorry but croissants are nasty. flaky buttery pastry nastiness. [voodoo]

[jeth]

im sorry but croissants are nasty. flaky buttery pastry nastiness. [voodoo]

You, too, are dead to me.

[SisterErnestine]

crossiants are yummy, especially when warm and spread with raspberry jam.




i think i just made myself hungry.


peace,love,and anarchy
SisterE

[SisterErnestine]

crossiants are yummy, especially when warm and spread with raspberry jam.




i think i just made myself hungry.


peace,love,and anarchy
SisterE

[jenniferblaufrau]

I love croissants with scrambled eggs and cheese in them. omg

[jenniferblaufrau]

You hate children.

No.

You hate people who choose to be parents.

No.

You are childfree because using your money for material goods, travel, etc. is more important to you than having a kid.

No, but all those things are more important to me than having a kid, for sure.

You judge parents by the way they raise their kids when you have no personal basis for comparison.

Probably.

You would be a bad mom. That's why you don't want kids.

I think I could be a decent mom, if I wanted to be. But I don't.

You feel that children should be banned from public places so as not to inconvenience you.

That would be nice.

You believe the government should regulate who can be a parent.

I'm not into government regulation, really.

We have Lush Bonanzas and eat crumpets all day while driving our Benzes and eating at fancy restaurants.

I'm not that crazy about Lush, but, yes, I do indulge in fancy bath products. I have never had crumpets, but I do love croissants. However, I rarely indulge because my hot body is a priority. I drive a 20-year-old Honda. Yes, I eat at fancy restaurants when I can, and it's worth every penny.

[tully]

You like to eat children.

I don't like to eat children.

[Paul]

Who has actually had a crumpet?

Breakfast most Sundays :) Hot and dripping with butter and jam or marmite. Mmmmmmmmmmm...

[jeth]

You like to eat children.

I don't like to eat children.

Liar. You told me that you like to dip them in ranch dressing!

[tully]

Only when they're buffalo style. And boneless.

[jeth]

Good thinking. All those nasty bones getting in the way of that tender, tender meat.

[spydergrrl]

lmao.. oh, and a toasted ham and cheese croissant is the best!

[Mordecai]

Baby oil - so much healthier for you than mazola!

[Kari]

^^Yeah? I do love Asstoria.

D

Gian Piero bakery. 30th avenue b/w 44th and 45th. It's actually the best bakery in OMGNYC. No, really.

[half1113]

You children eaters are killing me. [post83]

[Kari]

I want tha BEBE! In mah belleh!

http://www.miscellaneousetc.com/images/fat_bastard_normal.jpg

[ebby]

Crumpets are lovely.


Croissants are also lovely.


Here in Galway we have a world bread and pasty chef champion running his own bakery here with the most delicious croissants.

[half1113]

I want tha BEBE! In mah belleh!

http://www.miscellaneousetc.com/images/fat_bastard_normal.jpg

I want my babee back ribs.

[SMMY]

I had chocolate orange scones for breakfast. Just thought I'd share.

[Rizzabella]

I had chocolate orange scones for breakfast. Just thought I'd share.
:( Life cereal and perhaps one or two chocolate teddy grahams.

I'm going to be in trouble if the latter part reaches other sources. I'm banned from teddy grahams.

I guess I better just have a baby now since I obviously don't know how to live it up otherwise.

[The March Hare]

Hello, lovelies. Tonight I cooked and dined on beef tenderloin in a port cherry sauce with garlic-cheddar mashed potatoes. If you're childfree, you can too!

[spydergrrl]

Does drinking wine and ordering in pizza for dinner fit with the CF Lifestyle? ;)

[jeth]

Yes, because a) you get to drink wine while eating dinner and b) you don't have to share your pizza with people with abnormally small hands.