I want to be pregnant

[NightRose]

I am getting so frustrated with hubby. I am turning 28 this year and our son is turning 8 in a couple of months. I want to have another (hoping for a girl) but hubby has been against it for a while now. Always giving money as a reason to wait.

I didn't want such a large gap between children but now it can't be helped and the way things are looking it will be an even greater gap if I don't get pregnant soon. But hubby won't budge on the subject. Says we don't have enough money and need to pay off all our debt first. I am not getting any younger and wanted to have all my children before I turned 30 so that I can still enjoy somewhat of a life after the last one leaves home. I only wanted two children anyway.

I found out back in Jan that I was pregnant and while I was stressed I was so happy but hubby didn't take it well at all. Told me we couldn't afford it and he was not pleased at all. I was pissed and didn't speak to him for almost a week. And since we work together it made the days really long. I miscarried though and was devastated and was furious with hubby because he was pleased I had miscarried. There were some moments I actually considered leaving because of his reaction.

All my friends are currently pregnant or have newborns and it is killing me because I want another so badly. I feel like it will complete our family if that makes any sense. Hubby did say we would have one before I turned 30 but I am quickly running out of time. I would have to get pregnant in the next year for that to happen. But he is still lamenting we have no money and can't afford for me to take a year maternity. I have tried to tell him that if he waits for the perfect money situation then it will never happen. There is never a perfect time to have a child.

I am just so bummed though and basically have taken myself out of circulation because I can't handle being around all my pregnant friends or newborns. Which is really causing me stress because I feel like I have lost all my friends which is mostly my fault for letting it get to me. But I can't help it. Maybe I should just give up and forget about having another all together. But I really feel this is causing conflict in our relationship because I resent that he doesn't seem to want to have another. I feel like he is purposely delaying so that we won't have one. He denies it when I bring it up though. I am just so frustrated. I want to be pregnant. I want another baby. Oh why can't I be happy with just one. It would make things so much easier but I just can't I want to have another. [blue]

[PotatoFace]

your husband was "pleased" you miscarried?

I am sorry but that is just unacceptable, rude and heartless.

Most babies don't come at the right time, but you always make due. He shouldnt be dismissing your wishes like that soo suddenly. But in the same vein, you shouldnt be having a baby when the lines of communication are strained like this.

I am sorry, it sounds like you are in a hard spot. I really want another one, but we really can't afford it right now, and like you, I dont want to be having babies when I am 30.

It will all work out.

[NightRose]

I know it was heartless of him when he seemed pleased about it. He kept going on about men run on logic and women on emotions and I was refusing to see what a blessing it was I miscarried. I wish I could show him where he could stick that wonderful logic of his [pan]

We did talk about it a while afterward and he said he does want to have another but that was just the worse possible time for it and obviously it wasn't meant to be but he still could have been a little more sensitive about it. [post59]

I think he keeps thinking about all the trouble we had when our son was born. He was an unexpected pregnancy and the two of us were 19 going on 20 when he was born. There were a lot of rough patches but we got through them. He also said he does understand my not wanting to have children passed the age of 30 but I don't think he has any concept of how close that is. I turn 28 in Dec and would have to get preggers by Feb 2008 to have a child born before I turn 30. I really don't want to go passed 30.

I am hoping that we can get things straightened around so that is possible. It is just so depressing wanting to have another and you seem to be surrounded by pregnant people and newborns [blue]

[NightRose]

You gotta stop reading this forum, then. haha. Nah... I dunno what to tell you. I don't really understand the drive to do this before thirty. Maybe if he won't consent by Feb 2008, leave his ass.

Mainly my drive to do it before I am thirty comes from the fact that it seems to get harder and harder to get pregnant after 30. Most of the ladies I know over 30 have had some difficulty getting pregnant. Some still haven't managed it. I am a tad paranoid [post83]

Men just don't have the same feelings toward pregnancy that I can see. I think if it was up to a lot of men they would wait till it is too late [post83]

[katz]

personally i wanted my child born before 30 as well, only because i AM the child of an older parent, who had many diffulculties getting a pregnancy to stick. if they had, i'd have 4 older brothers-twitch-

my mom was 35 when she had me, and while I wasn't a diffulcult child/teenager growing up, I understand it was hard at times for her to be 50 with a 15 year old. At the same time however, my being older at that age range for her, really helped in some of the events that we went through while I was in high school because of maturity levels (cancer, family deaths etc).

[DeLiteFull]

I totally agree night rose, i had my second son 6 months ago and only want two children and wanted to have them before 30. Anyone who has had babies and experienced toddler-hood must have some understanding of not wanting young children at 35 etc its tiring and hard work!
Could you not talk to your husband again and then compromise a date that you will start trying for a baby so atleast that way he has a time frame that he can prepare himself in and you can have a date that you can look forward too.
At least that way it kind of concludes itself and there is no more discussions about when and if... if you know what i mean.
Best of luck to you! [post17]

[chickentart]

personally i wanted my child born before 30 as well, only because i AM the child of an older parent, who had many diffulculties getting a pregnancy to stick. if they had, i'd have 4 older brothers-twitch-

my mom was 35 when she had me, and while I wasn't a diffulcult child/teenager growing up, I understand it was hard at times for her to be 50 with a 15 year old. At the same time however, my being older at that age range for her, really helped in some of the events that we went through while I was in high school because of maturity levels (cancer, family deaths etc).


Though my pregnancy wasn't planned, there are many things I love about an early pregnancy. I am 25, and when baby goes to college, we will still be relatively young. That means lots of time with your child, and grandchildren. Also, my parents were older, and I want my child to know them too. Also, the majority of my family died when I was in high school, of various ailments. MS, complications from arthritis, heart disease. I don't want that for my baby. I want him or her to know the family for as long as possible. So there are a lot of great benefits to having a baby before you are 30. The drawbacks: My career is only a few years old, even though I do have a good job. I had planned on being a tad more established in my career path. But hey. That's ok. My husband still needs to finish his Master's, OK, it's a hurdle. But eventually, I think we can and will make it work really well.

[Bella]

The boy and I agreed to start trying next year. [post67] I'll be 31 by then. ;K

[St. Theresa]

Hey, Bella...I still a couple or three of my "What to Expect" books. Since my kids have outgrown them, I would be happy to mail 'em to ya. They're a over decade old, but I think most of it's quite relevant.

[Bella]

Hey, Bella...I still a couple or three of my "What to Expect" books. Since my kids have outgrown them, I would be happy to mail 'em to ya. They're a over decade old, but I think most of it's quite relevant.

I would love that! I'll send you a PM with my info. Thanks so much, hon!

[Bella]

[YIKES]

woah woah woah!!! awesome. I didn't see this in the ole el-jay!

I.can't.wait for mini-Bella. You guys will make some foxy babes.[post100]

Yeah, I haven't put it in my LJ. I've been pretty mum about it. Not wanting to jinx it and all. But I had to share it somewhere! So I figured one little thread mixed in with the thousands of other threads on here wouldn't be too bad.

And YOU can't wait for mini-Bella?! Imagine ME!!! I've been ready for a few years now. It's about time. This girl ain't gettin' any younger! [post67]

[katz]

heee mini-bella