I still miss him

[Cheri]

My grandpa Jack was the only man in my life I could depend on.

He died when I was 12. (Im now 38)

How different would my life had been if he held on? I know he was tired and was ready to go. but still........

[Cognito]

I know that feeling, wondering what about you and your life now would have been different had that person's influence guided you throughout your life, instead of being taken away. I don't think that ever really ends. Sometimes it just hurts. Other times it's not so bad. But, that wondering can overwhelm us at times also. I'm sorry you didn't get to know him for longer than you did.

Kerry

[Cheri]

I forgot this was here. The sad thing is he is now a great-great grandfather and my sisters didnt get to know him like I did. Of course I was spoilt. I got my way. heehee. But I love him and tell my kids about him every chance I get.

[Cognito]

That's so cool that you keep him alive by telling your kids about him. I do that as often as I can by telling my kids stories about my mother.

Kerry

[star-tip]

I think I know what you mean.
My grandparents (my fathers parents) both died from age and cancer died in 1992. I'm 18yrs now, but I still remember them very well. They lived next door, so I was with them everyday of my life before they died.
When I'm upset over something, or just sad, I often wish they would be with me. It's like one thing leads to another, and I start to cry - even though I was only 8yrs when they died.

star-tip

[oneflychicken]

I'm sorry.. loss is rough.

I miss my daddy so much. And think coming here is pointless, because no one is ever here. And who wants to hear ME whine?..

But is certainly a help to pass on the memories.. It makes me feel "with-purpose."

Megh

[Cheri]

Wow one fly chicken...........I cant imagine what it will be like when my daddy dies. He is almost 80 and in some ways is already gone. He has alzheimers. Im 40 now and it still hurts. I talked to my biological Dad about him the other day and it helped to hear his stories about Grandpa when my dad was a little boy.

[ami t]

My Gramps died when I was 15 which was 1994, and there's no one else like him.

The sad thing is my Nan (his wife) is 87, and I showed her a picture I found of him a couple of days ago, and she said "I don't remember him"

I miss him so much, and I miss how she was too. When I saw her at xmas for the first time probably since the xmas before, she couldn't remember me.

[Cheri]

I know what you mean ami. I went to my uncles house and my grandpa's second wife was there. This woman was his wife was before I was born! She was at my birth!

Gramma Callie: So are you a relative of Cherie's (my aunt)
Me: No, do you remember your husband Jack?
Gramma Callie: Yes
Me: Im his eldest granddaughter Cheryl. Remember me now?
Gramma Callie: No
Me: Im Jerry's daughter
Gramma Callie: Jerry Hopper?
Me: Yes ma'am
Gramma Callie: I saw him the other day and I didnt even recognize him. ( not surprising)


I dont think she ever remembered me. I need to call her and see if she is still alive. This woman was good to me when I was little but I carried my mom's second husband (who later legally became my father) last name and she just couldnt forgive me. I had my first son out of wedlock with my first husband and I told her it would be her first great-grandchild and she said well Im not going to claim him. Needless to say we didnt speak for a while. I cannot hold grudges agianst people. I can be too forgiving.

[ami t]

It hurts so so much though sometimes.

I always felt like it wasn't his time to go, and that he was taken away from me too early.

I remember holding my little brother while he cried, I remember what my Dad said to my aunty on the phone when he found out, I remember exactly where I was standing.

This thread has just made me bawl. I still can't talk about it without crying. Sometimes I think I don't think about him as much as I should, and that he might not know that I love him.

[Cheri]

I know honey. I was 12 and I still miss him more than 28 years. But believe me he knows you love him. I dont know what your beliefs are but I think people do not lose their memories of us. Nothing like James Van Praugh or that other dude. Those guys are phoney. But our families are waiting for us on the other side. They help guide us to the Father when we pass on. My favorite cousin passed away three or four years ago and it still feels like yesterday. Her death hit me that hardest. I guess because we were so close in age. 11 months to be exact. It is ok to miss them. They were a vital part of our lives. I hope this helps a little.

[ami t]

It's strange. I've never felt like he's watching over me or anything. I don't know what I believe in.

I feel like he's a part of me, and he's a part of everything and everyone around me who knew him.

I'm bad at throwing stuff out. I'm a bit of a hoarder. I always thought if I threw stuff out I'd be getting rid of all these memories, that I'd forget all this stuff.

It's weird when you realise you can't remember what someone's voice sounds like. But I haven't forgotten the important stuff I guess.

I've never really talked about him too much. I always cry, and then people think it's strange cause it's been so many years. I think people expect you to forget. That's what's wrong with the world. I've decided. So there. :)