the first person you came out to, or the first person you hope to come out to

[josh]

(depending on how out you are)

the very first person i said the words "i am gay" to was a guy online... i trusted him a lot and he helped me out a lot... maybe more just by knowing i could call him anytime and he would remind me that it would get better... but it meant a lot to me.

maybe he wasn't the best example, but he was a real lifesaver.

the first person i told i might be gay (she asked) was my mom... i should have just said "yup i'm gay" but i wasn't ready to say that, and i wasn't ready to say it for quite a while. it would have made life easier for both of us, but that's not how it went.

what's your story?

[aolhater73]

Well I won't count online stuff....


The first person I came out to was Jodi (chick in the picture with me). See she knew some of the people I eat lunch with. One day she just kind of appeared at the table, so energetic, so country, and was like "I'm Jodi!". We talked for a while, she's such an awesome person. I was convinced she had a crush on my friend TJ, so flirtatious they were. But we were walking around my neighborhood one day (cause I found out she lives near me), and she just kind of told me that she really likes me. I was shocked, the whole people actually liking me thing was still new. I froze up, I wanted to tell her right there that I was gay, but I just couldn't do it. She starts crying, and I feel like the biggest asshole alive for not being completely head over heels for this girl. So I wrote her an email basically explaining everything....



Evan
NP: Sarah McLachlan - I Love You (remix)

[josh]

well i will always think of nate as being the first person i came out to... actually i'm trying to think who it was after that... my friend ariel in high school i think... she was like oh... ok. i knew she would be ok with it. after that, susan and nick... susan later tried to set me up with her college roommate (a guy) and nick told me about his escapades at a gay bar (he got lost and ended up there lol) so yeah... it was fine.

[not an angry girl]

some friends i've made online have been amazing in helping me understand and accept my sexuality. i don't think it was so much coming out to them as they didn't know me as straight it was more about having people to chat to who were going through or had been through similar experiences. almost everyone i new in my everyday life was straight so without these online friends who knows where i'd be today.

in person, the first person i came out to was my mum. i live 20000km away from my family so don't get to have face to face conversation too often, so when i was done there for a week about a year ago i did it. it wasn't exactly coming out for me as i begun the whole coming out process before i really knew what i was there was never any big proclamation, of "i'm gay" it was more of a "i think i might be attracted to girls" thing. she hasn't bought it up since. i'm sure the thought of it is weird to her and she doesn't know what to say, but i also know that she'll love me no matter what.

then there was the first girl i fell for. i kissed her once and that was back when everyone (including me sort of??) thought i was straight. i fell really hard for her, but due to a number of things (including distance & her boyfriend- she was bi) it wasn't really even practical to think of a relationship with her - of course i thought about it anyway, just never told her how i felt, i figured there was no point. but she was the next person i came out to and was amazingly supportive. she was actually really happy for me and told me how good it was that just when i thought i'd experienced all there was in life, a whole new world opened up. :p hahaha.

i came out to a few more people one by one. but my biggest coming out experience was a couple of weeks ago. i went back to the place where i've lived for the past for years (i left a couple of months ago). i came out to 30 or 40 friends on a night out. they were all fantastic :)

i'm yet to come out to any of my family apart from the one incident with mum. i don'tknow if she's told my dad or not, i wish i could bring it up again, but it's hard being so faraway.

wow, that was long, sorry!!

:O

[GA Raisin Girl]

well, it was my friend Jen. when she came out to me a few years ago, I was drunk and told her about this girl I had a crush on, and discussed a few of my issues with my sexuality, though they weren't issues at the time.

when the deal happened about a month ago that really made me look myself in the face and say "yes I am unequivocally sexually attracted to women, no more of this horseshit will work and no I can't push it down into the denial place anymore" she was, well not the first person who called, but the first person who picked up the phone.

and she made me feel so comfortable. and normal. and i could talk about how confused and scared and overwhelmed i was feeling. and she told me it was going to be okay, i was going to be okay, and being bi did *not* automatically mean I was a closet lesbian. i love her to pieces. *sniff*

of course now she calls me up and says "hey carpet muncher" but I love her anyway ;k

[not an angry girl]

Originally posted by GA Raisin Girl


of course now she calls me up and says "hey carpet muncher" but I love her anyway ;k

haha, my friends are like that. they're totally fine with it. but they're always saying things like - so how's your lezzo, dykey music going etc. i think it's their way of being affectionate. :p

[Velvetes1]

The very first person I told was this girl I used to (and maybe will again) chat with online. This was in late Nov. 1999. She and I were chatting about music and somehow the topic changed and she asked if I was queer. No one had ever asked me that before. I had been thinking about it for a while before she asked me. So I told her "well...maybe...I'm not really sure."
She and I had a few long chats about it and between that and some other stuff I grew to realize that I am gay.
So I eventually told her that I figured it out.

The first person I said it out loud to was my best friend. This was about 8 months after I figured it out. She took it really well though and it was such a relief to be able to *finally* talk to her about it.

I still have to come out to my family. And I'm so not looking forward to that. Though I guess it will be a relief once they know.

-Carol ;O

[maureenerrific]

my friend deborah.

she brought it up, and i said yes. after she and i chatted about it, i told the rest of my friends, my mom and others within about a month.

i was so relieved that i felt i needed to let everyone know. it was probably one of the best moments of my life. :e

everyone now knows i'm a lesbian, including my dad who i was very afraid to tell. he said, "yeah, i figured you were."

gosh. :)

[Kollins]

I wrote an email to my friend Risa, who I'm very close wirth. I chose her because a. she lives in California and I wouldn't have to do it face to face (I'm a wimp), and b. she's always ben there for me, and vice-versa. She rocks so much. So I basically told her and she was wonderful about it, and now we just do huge "cute guy" discussions sometimes on AIM. it's fun.<p> The first abnd so far only person I came out to that I see day to day is my friend Sarah. I got a tarot reading done by my friend Cheryl, and it told me that it was time for my secrets to be reveled, which was sort of what I wanted to hear, but I needed the backup courage. So, after shcool, i came up to her, and said 'let's go for a walk.' We did, and I couldn't find the courage to say the words "I'm gay", or even "I think I like guys." I had to do it this way. At the lunch table that day, I had mentioned a little fling I had while in Quebec City. Everyone at the table wa slike "Tell us about her!" so I just said "Um, she wa slots of fun" and changed the subject. So, later that day, during our walk, I came out to Sarah this way.<p>
"Remember how I was talking about my little fling in Quebec? Well, I sort of did a gender flip with the pronouns."<p>
"What do you mean?"<P>
"Um, you know how said she was lots of fun? Just change 'she' to 'he' and you'll get the hang of it."<p>
"Oh. Oh!" <p>
That little "Oh!" was her only sign of shock. She was totally cool about it; she's been sooo supportive and excellent. I'm so glad I came out to her!<p>
I'm now out to, um, 6 people, think. Go me. Planning to boost that from 6 to 12 in one big announcement after Prom or something. I'll probably be too scared and cancel said plans, but hey, I'm proud of how far I've come so far, and it only gets easier the mroe you do it.

[brandish]

Originally posted by Winter Troll
I wrote an email to my friend Risa, who I'm very close wirth. I chose her because a. she lives in California and I wouldn't have to do it face to face (I'm a wimp),

Similar to me! I've told two people so far. The first person happens to live across the ocean from me, so I knew I was safe there. The second, in a different state. Both my email. That's the furthest I've gotten.

[Cold Fire]

<font color=mediumorchid>
I came out on-line first... some of my close friends.

Then IRL, but to be honest, I can't remember who was first. It may have been my friend Ellie. I am now outed to everyone except my mother (who I'm sure suspects) and all my other family members.

The only people who have had any problem with it have been people who don't know me, but I rarely get any serious stick.

I am worried about my grandparents and my dad, but I won't blow their minds until there is someone to tell them about.
~** Jess ;o

[i am a cat.]

My best guy friend. I'd been thinking of letting him know that I'm interested in girls as well as guys because I know I can trust him with anything, but it just kinda slipped one day. He said something about Bettie Page being totally sexy and I agreed. Kinda floored him. He's cool with it, though. I never really thought of it as "coming out," but I guess, in retrospect, that's what happened.

A couple of my other guy friends know too. The topic just sort of came up in conversation and I just said that in my lifetime, I hope to experience girls as well as guys. Nothing more has really been said. It wasn't a big deal.

My ex-boyfriend knew, but he was pervy about it and all he wanted to do was see me get with another girl. I ditched him because he turned out to be a great big loser. (Not just because of that reason.)

So far, none of my girl friends IRL know. Granted, I don't have very many female friends who I am close with anyway. I'm not sure why I haven't said anything to them. However, they do know that I am very supportive of gays and it probably wouldn't be a huge shock to them that I like girls too.

I'm fairly sure that my mom is aware. She has pretty good "gaydar". ;)

I am who I am, that's all. *shrugs* If I was completely straight, I wouldn't feel the need to walk around and tell all my friends and family, "Guess what? I'm straight!" Similiarly, I don't really feel the need to walk around and tell them, "Guess what? I'm bi!" If the topic comes up for some reason, I'm okay with stating how I feel. Otherwise, it's my business. I don't really like pinning labels on myself. I just love people. I'm people-sexual. :)

[brain damaged]

It started out online but in real life, my best friend Andrea. This was during Christmas break of 2000 and it went over pretty well... Some of my friends still don't know yet but I don't really plan on telling them unless it somehow comes up.

brain.:D

[PraeTORIan]

heh! i guess i still have a long way to go before i can actually admit even to myself that i am *cannot say the damn word*
anyway its nice to be here :)

[XFER]

I thought I have reply in this thread, but no

[Fading Away]

I still haven't told ne one. Im going to save that for when I am comfortable with it myself. but the first person i would tell would be my mother because the thing i would want is acceptance and i know i will always get that from her no matter what.

Aisling

[FlyingDutchman]

The first person was my girlfriend, who I basically was faking a relationship with and I felt guilty about it. (That and I really wanted to stop making out ;)) A few days later, another female friend, who I told because she's a huge gossip and I didn't want to go through the trouble of telling everyone myself. So she told about six more of my friends.

Fast forward to six months later (that would be now). My ex-gf is asking me what GIRLS I like and whether I have a crush on HER and my two of my male friends have started asking me their stupid questions again (don't you just love boobs? she's, like, so hot, isn't she?).

::sigh::

Did they just forget or are they purposely trying to be insensitive? :(

[veganboy]

I told my mother first.

[chocolate chip calabaza]

first one well.........i told my roomate i liked boys and im not sure why, and then he freaked out but it was funny, it was almost as if i had cooties from that moment on
and then i told my cousin and after 15 minutes or so of awkard uncomfortable silence, he said it was alright and now we're best friends again and it's all back to normal
*does the happy homo dance*

[Jenosis]

The first person I told was my friend Angie. It was kinda funny how I told her. She had just broken up with one of my best friends (like 2 months prior to this) and she was just talking and talking. And she was like "I miss him already... have you ever had someone you loved so much?" and I was like "Well... you could kinda say your ex-boyfriend and I used to fool around." and she was like "OH!" The next class period she was crying cause something finally clicked and realized I was gay. She was crying cause she had a psuedo crush on me.

That's when I officially started telling people. I told my best friend, who really isn't a friend anymore. I think he got weirded out by me actually admitting I am gay. :O

[FireOnYourSide]

The first person I told was my friend, Kristin. Kristin is a lesbian so it was easier to tell her. About 2 weeks ago I finally told me sister. We use to work together and one day I went to her cubical and asked if I could come over her house that night because I wanted to talk to her about something. So, I ended up going over my sisters house, and after about an hour of me saying "oh nothing" I finally wrote it down and told her I was gay. She doesn't care though. She told me now that she looks back on my life she really isn't shocked by it. We hugged, she cried, etc. I haven't told my parents yet and probably won't for a couple more years, maybe.

[Khamil]

The 1st person that knew was the 1st guy i kissed/made out with/had sex with.

before we kissed, i wasn't even sure i was gay. heh. i even had a gf at the time.

but the 1st person i told was my aunt, who's a lesbian. it was cool.

[Lunar Angelwings]

The first people i came out to were my group of friends in high school. we were parked in a park playing truth or dare one night, and i was asked if i would ever consider having sex with a guy. i said yes, that i had actually thought it through and would definitely. it seems like it would be scary, but there was very little pressure in it.

i have been very lucky coming out to people in my life. nobody has reacted in a way i regret.

joshie

hugs to all

[Gap_Guy03]

Originally posted by Lunar Angelwings
i have been very lucky coming out to people in my life. nobody has reacted in a way i regret.

I have too actually. The first person that I ever told that I was Bi-sexual was one of my closest female friends. One night, we were talking on AIM, and he told me that she was bi. So I thought, hey!! Well, obviously trusts you, so why dont you trust her!! So, I told her. She was reallly happy to be the first to know!! I've told 3 other of my friends, but they have all been Female. I have yet to come out to any male friends!! Too scared!!

[insatiable18]

The first person I told was my best girl friend, and we had dated a few months ago... so after I told her she flipped out a little. She went into a kinda shocked silence and than she just left. We're on good terms now though. I came out to my eldest brother next and he was totatlly cool. He gave me a big hug, and asked me all those lovely questions, ("How long have you known?", "Who do you have a crush on?", "How far have you gone with a guy?") But I was more than happy to answer those questions. My mom already knew. So when I told her she was like, "Okay *smile*"
She has that scary mommy intuition.

[Peorth]

I was out to myself LOOONG before anyone suspected. Then, I didn't really come out so much as made a spectacle of myself by letting a very drunken very beautiful friend of mine kiss me and get sober little me all upset in fromt of a group of friends. Fast forward several months and several makeout sessions and I'm naked with her adn her boyfriend walks in on us. She never speaks to me again. Then, rumors fly and a few friends ditch me, I get all depressive and quit my job and get kicked out of my Mom's house, and move in with some girl I hardly know. A week later, she's the love of my life and she did my coming out for me. My mom heard it through the grapevine and four years later is still coping. I hardley ever have to tell people. If they ask, I always tell, though. If all of my straight co-workers can tell stories about boyfriends and husbands and kids, I might as well kiss and tell, too, right?:l

[FyrArrow]

my best friend Marie, who is the first to know practically everything about me. She's straight, but she was pretty accepting of it. She realizes that I respect her and that I'm the same person as I was before. (It's sorta my pet peeve when you tell someone *even a close friend* of the same sex that you're gay/bi and they suddenly think you're going to try to rape them or something. it's just like, hello, so automatically being gay removes my sense of human decency and respect, what? fortunately i haven't had that response so far, probably because i've only told people i knew could accept it. i'm not very out, really). most of my very closest friends know. if it weren't for the fact that my family can't know, i would be much more out.

[Mentia]

The first person I came out to was my best friend at 15, Katie. I was sleeping over at her house and we were both in seperate beds with the lights out in her room. I had no attraction to her..I just felt I needed to get it off my chest, so I beat around the bush forever and a day. "Katie..I kind of want to tell you something." and I made her play a guessing game about it..she finally did guess and when she did I cried and cried and cried. She ran to turn the lights on and pulled the covers off me and tried to get me to stop crying. I felt so vulnerable after I told her that..and a few hours later I took it back and said I was confused when I'd told her all that.

The first person I came out to without taking it back later, was my best friend at 18, Kelly. I was a senior in highschool..April of 2000. We were walking back from McDonalds after school one day, and I made her do the guessing thing too..because I was too chicken shit to just tell her. She seemed shocked, but she did an okay job of hiding it. Later she wrote me a snail mail letter about how she still liked me as a friend and was supportive of me. That totally made me feel good :)

-Annemarie-

[MyQuietCloud]

The very first person i came out to was my friend Adrian. He was gay and he never really told anyone but at the time i was in the Straight And Gay Alliance at school. Even than i told everyone i was straight but he just assumed i was gay so he asked me to go downtown with him one day. He took me to this place called the Attic and if anyone is familiar with philly, its like a hang out for questioning youth and its alot of fun. They sit around and have meetings and talk and all that great stuff and i signed in as being gay and i just let adrian think i was gay. So we talked about it alot and i got comfortable enough to tell some other friends. Shortly after that i told my parents and my sister. Now when i have friends over they usually find out by accident because my friends who know will make little jokes here and there and i have pictures of my girlfriend hanging up on my wall and i also have my gay pride rings hanging on my wall that my friend kara bought me. There u have it ;b

cloud

[neptune_orbit]

The whole situation was real strange, because for a couple of days my best friend had been asking me who I liked, and most of the time I would reply 'No one', until one day I decided to take it out of my throat. We just had mass, my school is Catholic, and we were in the benches, talking, and I began describing in some way all I felt, using genderless words, and finally everything was so fast that she asked me :"Is it a 'he'?", and all I could say was "Yes". And I pointed out one was that was in front of us, it was him. The only thing she told me was "He has a nice ass"...

[StrungMonkee]

The first person I mentioned it to was my best friend, April. I told her that I thought I liked this guy one night while we were drunk and she told me she thought he was cute and I should go for it. It was awesome it was the first positive reponse to things gay I had ever witnessed. I'm afraid to tell my mother as my experience of the topic with her is "get that damned gay show off that TV" regarding "Ellen".

[superhero]

i told a group of my friends in 8th grade that i was bi. because i thought i was. i'm still friends with almost all of the people that i first told. and after i came out to them all...two of them came out to me. so it wasn't a bad situation.

the first family member to find out was my brother. but that was an accident. the first family member i told was my father. it was really hard. but he doesn't care...he's so cool about it.