The anti-Under The Pink

[star girl]

I don't see why everybody loves Under The Pink. Honestly, I don't. The fans love it, the critics loved it...there must be something seriously wrong with me, because I hate this album. Well, perhaps I don't hate it, but it's definitely somewhere on the bottom of my rank list. I'd rather listen to SW than listen to Pink, which is saying a lot, because I'm openly unsupportive of Scarlet. Heck, I'd rather listen to SLG or LE than listen to Pink -- and that's really saying a lot.

Yes, Pretty Good Year is a fantastic song, as are God and Cornflake Girl (though the later absolutely reeks of the phrase "top-40 single," which is why I don't care for it much). The instrumentation on most of the songs is beautiful. But to be frank, nearly all the rest of the songs suck.

3. Bells For Her -- too long, too monotonous. I feel like Tori could have done something awesome and cool with this song, but she didn't. Good lyrics but the song is overall b-o-r-i-n-g.

4. Past the Mission -- oh lord, I hate this song. I'm sorry, I really am, I just can't stand it. It sounds like Andrew Lloyd Webber rock opera music (think Evita). The fact that it changes key three times is cool, but the rest of it is awful.

5. Baker, Baker -- same as Bells For Her. I see this song as a filler. In my opinion, it's b-side material, one of those songs that Tori would tack onto a single or EP to fill up space. Not cool.

6. The Wrong Band -- I don't care for the 3/4 time. Makes me feel like I'm supposed to be waltzing (whatever I mean by that...). Everybody loves this song, but I never listen to it because I can't stand it. And the lyrics do NOTHING for me.

7. The Waitress -- this song rocks live, but the album version is so painful to listen to. I recently read a post by an atforumz user who thinks this song sounds like "three songs put together," and I totally see that point of view. It's like Tori had several ideas for songs, both lyrical and musical ideas, then said well-fuck-it-all, let's just put them all together and see what happens. The result? Horrible studio track, but Waitress managed to redeem herself by being an awesome live song.

9. Icicle -- cute and charming, but the lyrics seem as though they were written mostly for shock value, and this song bleeds horribly into Cloud.

10. Cloud On My Tongue -- same as above. Cute song with lovely piano, but it's practically the same as Icicle! It's odd that I'm saying this, because I'm not usually one to say "These two songs sound the same," as many listeners do. Also, the two songs are back-to-back, and it's hard to discern one from the other since they're so very similar. I think they'd be stronger if they were at different ends of an album, or on different albums altogether. They also seem like b-side material.

11. Space Dog -- same as Waitress. It rocks live, but I find the album version weak. We have a three-key-changes thing happening, like on Mission, and I like that, but the rest of it is just...I don't know, "not good." (I can't think of what words to use about this one. It just rubs me the wrong way.)

12. Yes, Anastasia -- Ugh. I imagine Tori saying, "This album absolutely must end with a long, drawn-out, ten-minute epic of a song," like she's trying to make some big statement, a la LE's title song and Scarlet's Gold Dust. The song is good, I suppose, but I always get to the 7- or 8-minute mark and think "When is this gonna be over?" I know songs are not living things (um, of course not, hah), but Anastasia just tries too hard. She's desperate ... for what, you're asking? I don't know. Fan approval? It's just desperate-sounding to me. "We'll see how brave you are..." ... um, yeah.

OTHER NOTES:

-Everybody loves the album art on Pink, and wow, I just really hate it. Tori is wearing a maternity dress, and that photo of her on the back is so unflattering.

-It's awesome that Trent makes an appearance on Mission, but I think Tori should have saved him for a rockin' song on Pele. (Don't mind me, this is just my dumb opinion...)

-What's up with the liner note lyrics to Icicle?

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So. I imagine you're all now fantasizing about throwing me to rabid, starving wolves, but hey, that's what I think about those of you who hate Choirgirl No, just joking (sort of...).

Sorry this was so long, but I'd really love to see some of your guys' opinions.