Mars Attacks!

[Thelema]

Of course, Bush's Mars expedition makes much more sense when you evaluate it as a policy initiative from the US Defense Department -- it's entirely consistent with his diplomatic track record to date:

-We believe the Martians posess weapons of mass destruction (heat rays, tripod death machines, red weed).

-The Martians are believed to have repugnant political goals (suck Earthling
blood).

-Okay, all our reports on the subject of Martian policy come via the well-known journalist and foreign correspondent Herbert George Wells, but he's got no motive to lie to us about this, has he? (Besides, we've got a name in common, so he must be on the level.)

-Despite repeated attempts to contact them the Martian government has refused to return our calls.

-We have called upon the Martians to disarm, but they have maintained a stubborn, sinister, silence.

-It is possible that Osama bin Laden is on Mars. (Image enhancement of the background to bin Laden's videotapes rebroadcast via Al Jazeera are suggestive of a boulder-strewn desolate wasteland. We know that Osama bin Laden cannot be found in Afghanistan, and Mars is also a boulder-strewn wasteland, so Osama bin Laden may indeed be on Mars.)

-The Martian goal is to exterminate and subjugate the free peoples of the world. Osama bin Laden shares this goal. Working together, the Martians may provide Al Qaida with weapons of mass destruction. We have to stop this now, before it's too late!

-Tony Blair has asked us to allow time for diplomacy to work, but the Martians have stubbornly refused to talk to the British Beagle 2 lander.

-Nobody in the UN is going to veto our motion calling for the Martians to abandon their policy of supplying weapons of mass destruction to Osama bin Laden, on pain of invasion.

So let's invade Mars before Mars invades us!