Casual sex

Giuseppe · 11-07-2001, 02:00 PM

I'd love to hear what some of you really think this....

In my case, I have a difficult time having sex with no strings attached, because I place such an emotional value on the act. I've had offers from women who just want to fuck and I usually turn them down, mostly because I have issues about using women.

I know some of you may say, well if they're willing to have sex with no relationship with you, then you're not using them....but I think that some of them think this is a good way to trap me into a relationship or to hang on to me....like they're not saying let's just have sex and still be friends and walk away from it.......there's one girl who I'm attracted to and she's made it clear that we should be fuck buddies but I still don't go through with it, because at the same time she says she really wants to be with a guy like me. The reasons I wouldn't date her are too many to mention......

I'm just curious to hear what some of you think about casual sex and if it still exists.....

G

Morning Star · 11-07-2001, 04:23 PM

this summer I had this huge crush on a co worker.... at B&N he was just lovely but made it clear to me that he did not want a relationship but sex and friendship was good... i thought about this...and i decided "as long as i decide not to get attatched..this could work...." So he and I had one of those "friends with benefits" relationships during the summer while both of us were allowed to see other people..... the experience was great...since he was only the 2nd person I slept with...and he gave me MANY pointers: (do this to a guy and it will drive him nuts) but I dont think i would like something like this to happen again... I dont regret it..but i dont want to be that girl

pulcheria · 11-07-2001, 05:29 PM

I've been thinking about this sort of thing. I am the one not looking for a relationship. I don't want to be involved with anyone unless I know it is going somewhere. But, in the meantime, I want sex.

I've only slept with one person and he wasn't too concerned with what I wanted and I've met this guy who says he would have a purely sexual relationship with me. He wants to show me what I've been missing. My fear is that he will want something more because I don't want to get involved in a relationship I know will end. If I knew we could both keep it as a sex only relationship, I would definately do it.

~Peppermint Dream~ · 11-07-2001, 06:21 PM

i've only had casual sex with one guy. who's now my boyfriend. we started out as just fuck buddies.. but after the first time, he stared into my eyes and said "i want more than this with you. you are worth more.. please consider going out with me" it weas so sweet. so i thought about it and decided to go for it. right now we are in a little confusing place.. but i'm hoping it works out

Giuseppe · 11-07-2001, 11:14 PM

I have similar concerns as you Pulcheria. I think that these people who are offering to get into a purely sexual relationship with no promises are really looking for ways to get a piece of us in their lives....I know the girl I'm speaking of really wants to date me.....I'm not interested in that and then all of a sudden she dropped it down from dating to fucking.....I don't believe that's all she wants....and quite honestly, I don't know if I'm capable of a purely sexual relationship either.

**Rebecca** · 11-07-2001, 11:29 PM

i haven't really had casual sex, and I'm not sure I ever will.. at the moment I definetly draw the line before that but..

I don't see it as impossible.. I think i'd need to trust and want to spend time with this person.. I can't see it just being about sex.. but it wouldn't need to be about a relationship either I guess. My first sexual relationship was not going anywhere, we both knew that our time together was limited. But I really liked spending what time we did have together, and the sex was somemthing I was very ready for and I it felt like a natural part of our relationship. And I guess I did get attatched a bit, which because I come from cold-fish arena, was something I was very glad for even though it hurt like hell when he left.

**Julie** · 11-08-2001, 12:07 AM

I've had a few "casual" relationships.

One was a one night stand. The guy was introduced to me like this:

"Have you ever seen a $15,000 watch?"
"No, but I've seen a $20,000. I've always wanted to see what you get in a lower end model."

And that was Greg. I got drunk. We fucked. At his luxury apartment. In his beemer. He was horrible, and I was sober enough to know it. Hot as hell. A stockbroker. Hell, I feel like it's something out of a soap opera. I had to call his office the next day to find out what his last name was. I still don't remember. Damn, do I miss the dot.com boom.

The other was Matt. Matt is an Italian-catholic guy who acted and looked Jewish. We had sex in seedy hotel rooms (and one really nice one) and basically just were fuck buddies. I miss him. He was a writer too, so we'd read each other's work. Not a good love match. Just a good fuck match.

Oh, and there was John. BEST of friends. He's married now, with a newborn. A year after.

Now I'm in a LTR... been with mark for 1.5 years... I love him to death. Sometimes I miss partying, but hell.. I can party with him and not have to worry about catching something or that awkward morning breath.

Em · 11-08-2001, 06:06 AM

Casual sex is something that has always left me unsatisfied or made me regret it later. So I'm not very good at it.

And you're right Joe, usually in casual sex relationships someone always wants more than the other.

Giuseppe · 11-08-2001, 11:56 AM

Thank you for reinforcing my brillaince Em!

Boy4Tori · 11-08-2001, 12:26 PM

Relationships are complicated and confusing whether sex is involved or not.

Since I've been married for so long, I already know what a relationship without benefits is like, now that it's ending, maybe I should find out what having a "fuck buddy" would be like!

I've never really had a relationship with someone that was purely for the sex. I think I could do it, but I don't know if it would be very satisfying for very long. I really miss being intimate with someone, and for me, that's a lot more than just having sex.

eros luciferchilde · 11-13-2001, 04:33 AM

I have never had a relationship.

I stopped seeing this guy who left irritating messages on My mobile. (a message is irritating by default if it ever starts or ends with a "dear" or god-forbid, "darling" ) He was starting to get mushy.

I have had good sex with another, knowing that he has a bf back in London.

And another, knowing that he has a bf back in Bangkok.

And another, knowing that he has a bf back in Amsterdam. We've just had one session, it was great enough we're arranging monthly sessions when he steps into My country, he'll give Me sexual rights to invade his arse.

I'm not looking for an equal partner out of bed.
I do not need clingy people to complicate My life.
Relationships fizzles out the raunch.
Forget it.

JupiterGrl · 11-19-2001, 09:39 PM

oh great, I have to go after Eros...
everything after him seems so... um, dismal.

um, this is an interesting topic for me...
I agree that one person usually wants more than the other...
my problem with casual sex is protection.
I freaking HATE condoms!!!!! But they are a necessary evil with casual sex!
I should've been 30 in the sixties..when I could get some "free love" and not have to have a freaking print-out from the person's doctor!!
I think of that movie Gatica...where you could take a strand of a person's hair to a place and have it analyzed!!

well, and feelings... you just feel more comfortable giving everything to your partner when you're involved emotionally... it's more than just sex... it's making love babe.

Magdalen · 11-21-2001, 08:40 PM

I have had my share of casual sex. I don't regret it or feel bad about it. I think it has taught me a lot...not just about sex...but about human behavior and relationships in general.
I go through phases in my sex life.
Recently, I went for over a year without fucking anyone at all. I have also had really "slutty" periods.
Most of the time, I would rather get myself off than have an encounter with some random person who might not even satisfy me.
and...I would MUCH rather sleep with someone I love than wake up next to a stranger.

At this point in my life, unless I happen to meet a person who is just EXTREMELY sexually attractive to me, I'll pass on the easy lay.